Triple Play

Hey folks! Sorry it's been so long. I've been super grumpy due to various Asheville (Ashehell) reasons. Fortunately, my readers don't let me down. Snow found this gem for us:

She says:

Sunken cheeks and inflated boobs, oops... I mean pecs, and an excellent wax job can't salvage this cover image of Prince Mysterious and Sulky. Check out those forearms; our prince must spend a lot of time gripping that sword. The fact that he's only shown from the waist up tells me that he has chicken legs.

By the way, the editor's description sounds even worse than one might
expect from the tit-le.

In the last installment of the Children of the Sun trilogy, a shackled
virgin must choose between the monster she knows and a sexy stranger who could spell doom - or help her fulfill the Prophecy of the Firstborn.

I actually thought that the author was Linda "Wasted" Jones. Boy, if they're gonna start using author's college nicknames on books, I'd better never write something!

Bryan R. Terry has come through again with a "novels-you-can't-actually-believe-they-published" cover.

My first thought? Realdoll (link not suitable for work!). My second thought got sidetracked thinking about the publisher's name, PEC, and how obsessed this blog seems to be with pecs. And finally I thought, "Boy, she's got quite a package. Must be one of those she-male Realdolls. Kinky."

Speaking of packages, here's another romance hero without one.

Beware Lord Ware, he's not all there. The widow, however, has a nice pussy.

I guess this would be the Lack-of-a-phallus Phallic Phriday edition.


DocTurtle said...

What "lack"? Mr. Swordplay is all about phalluses (phalli?) on that first cover.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say I found another "adult western" series with amusing covers. The series is called Spur, and I took a few pics on my cellphone, and then foolishly deleted them before putting them anywhere useful.

I also can't find reference to them anywhere on the internet...

As I recall it, they have very similar covers to Longarm. Might be worth tracking them down.

Anonymous said...

Ah, there they are!

Spur series

Snow said...

Lord Ware's got no warez.

Linda "Wasted" Jones. *giggle* *hic*

DocTurtle said...

deadlytoque: Wow! Nice find. I like the fact that they made it all the way to #10 in their series before giving up on alliteration with the oh-so-prosaic Nevada Hussy. I didn't check all of the titles, but I hope they didn't forget Oregon Odalisque and Laramie Leman.

Anonymous said...

...Is that Hitler inflating that doll?

Mooselet said...

The finest in adult reading for 95 cents? I think I stepped into the WayBack Machine.

writtenwyrdd said...

That rubber dolly takes the cake. I checked out Real Dolls and laughed. I've been enjoying this blog for a while.

emily said...

just wanted to say that i was directed to your blog by my boyfriend who reads comics curmudgeon. i'm an english grad student at uncg and i'm thrilled to find someone with a sense of humor about books in this state! keep up the good work and i'll keep reading!

Miss Maggie said...

Thanks, Emily. Stop by and say hi if you're ever in Asheville. That goes for the rest of you, too!

Anonymous said...

There's actually a dark comedy/horror movie about a guy who buys a real doll modelled after one of his coworkers. Then when he scores with the real life woman, the doll gets jealous and tries to kill them.

Rip Torn was in it.

It was pretty good.