On zee Continent Zey Adore zee Mammary Mondays
I see dead people!
I don't know which makes me laugh harder, the title or the picture. Let's start with the picture. Doesn't this look like your junior high school spring dance? The girls are all huddled together, and a poor guy is trapped in the corner, unable to get past them without them noticing, and being forced to listen to them talk about how cute this boy is, and how sexy that one is, knowing he'll never make the list. He's so far below their notice that they don't even see him there. Of course, for their part, they are enviously eyeing the girls who have dates and dance partners, and sadly contemplate dancing with each other just to be out there where the action is.
The title is hilarious! I need to see if my library has this book! I guess the guy is supposed to be a ghost, but he just looks like a creepy stalker. Just think, next time you think you're alone, you could really have some nicely coiffed ghost "attached" to you. Think it's safe to pick your nose or scratch an itch (one that would not be socially acceptable to scratch)? Only if you don't care if the dead are watching!!! And maybe touching you. Like a stalker, but worse! No restraining order can save you!! Out, demon! The power of Christ compels you!!
Honor and Glory!
But! I need your help. I need to submit five of my posts that best represent my blog. Any suggestions? A Baen book, perhaps? Definitely have to throw in a Mammary Monday and a Phallic Phriday submission. But which? I'm stumped. What do you think??
In other news, look to the left------>
There's a link for my etsy store. I add new stuff all the time. Buy something and I will offer you the opportunity to guest blog a book cover or two. You know you want to. You can also scroll down for my Paypal "donate" link if you aren't feeling in the need of something crafty. If you've already bought something or donated something and would like to take advantage of this opportunity, throw me a line over at firstname.lastname@example.org.
And, since I can't leave you alone without a book cover to snark on...Here's a note from my former supervisor along with a cover. Is her head on fire???
Minin' the Mailbag
Let's start with this one, submitted by faithful reader Marla (who notes, "check out the size of his pinecones!"):
Nope, nothing says "creative cover design" like a stock photo of a couple of regency reenactors listlessly hanging out on the back stoop like they're on coffee break. The photo could almost be a still out one of the most disappointing movies Maughta and I ever watched, a 1982 BBC mini-series adaptation of Anthony Trollope's wonderful The Warden and Barchester Towers. How could one go wrong, you might ask, when you start with such a subtle and sophisticated base text and make the positively brilliant move of casting Alan Rickman as Obadiah Slope?
Oh, I'll tell you. The adaptation is weak, the acting is flat, the directing is non-existent...and the damned thing is done on video. Video! Because by 1982 film was just passé. Just because the medium is new and exciting, folks, doesn't mean you gotta use it.
Let's cleanse our palates with this gem from faithful reader Lindz, Jilly Cooper's "classic bestseller," Riders:
As Maughta said to me moments ago, "it's Tushy Tuesday!" I prefer "Tuesday is for Tuckuses," myself.
Riders is the first (and, according to Fantastic Fiction, the "steamiest") of the Rutshire Chronicles. Not a fan of subtlety, our Ms. Cooper. A quick search of her other works reveals a passel of non-fiction titles on romance, love, and seduction, such as Jolly Marsupial: Down Under and Other Scenes:
This is the book that spawned the most popular buddy cop show in Australian television history.
Then there's Jolly Super:
Sorry for the tiny image, it was the best I could find (does anyone out there have a better one they could upload?). Nevertheless, the resolution's good enough for us to know this'd make a great addition to Phallic Phriday.
That's all for now, but we hope you'll leave us a snarky note or two in the comments section, and keep your hands where we can see 'em.
Phallic Phriday Just Under the Wire
Ahem. Thank you. Thank you ver' much.
My favorite part of this cover (and this was a hard decision, let me tell ya!) is the fact that it looks exactly like something an angsty, kinda arty twelve-year old girl would draw. In fact, add a unicorn and some really bad eighties "fashion" and it'd look exactly like something I would have drawn after school in my best friend's basement. After a meal of chocolate sandwiches. And this was BEFORE I became a pothead.
Lost in Translation?
Who saw in a bookstore, a wonder!
She went to Belgium for the beer, so we're told
And ended up with pictures of plunder!*
What happens when a kitty Kat travels to Belgium? She sends us a picture of books!
See Spot lick Dikkie Dik. Lick, Spot, Lick.
See Dikkie Dik dribbel. Dribbel, Dikkie Dik, dribbel.
See Spot flush a used kleenex.
p.s. Thanks sooooooooo much for the donations and purchases from my etsy store! You guys are the best readers, ever!!!
*Yeah...I think I'll leave the poetry to DocTurtle!