Mammary Monday

Just in case you thought I was sexist with my Phallic Phriday, put your fears to rest! We are equal opportunity snarkers here at Judge A Book By Its Cover (tm) (r) (c) (etc).

I know what you're thinking...I'm going to take this opportunity to pick on romance novels again. You're probably thinking you'll see lots of covers like this:

Who needs a head when you have a corset?

and this:

And then her dress fell off.

and, of course, this:

Those look like mammaries to me!

Or perhaps I will decide to lampoon Sci-fi. Like this:

Bras aren't necessary in space, y'know. Anti-gravity. Every 15 year-old boy's dream. Whom am I kidding...I'd give anything to not have to wear a bra!

But no. Today we are going to pick on the even easier target of manga. Get a load of these hooters!

Do I even need to point out that NOBODY'S TITS DO THAT! I'd like to see her try and walk. I think she'd fall forward! And we keep this stuff in our Young Adult section. No wonder I have such a hard time getting some of these kids to look me in the eye.


On a side note, my Mom says I don't look like a vampiric hippo, as my last post asserted. She's very worried that you all will think that's what I look like. I have no idea what that has to do with the price of tea in Starbucks, but I have to say, she's right. I look more like this:

Mammary Monday, folks! Mark it on your calendars.


Anonymous said...

Man, when I was in high school, that Robert Heinlen cover was, um, very important to me.

Miss Maggie said...

I asked intrepid page, Jeremy, if he would keep an eye out for good mammarian covers (is mammarian a word? It is now). He said Friday so fast it'd make your head spin. Must have had a similar experience to you, Josh.

Anonymous said...

You're right, you do look like that cover which is why people think we look alike. I'm trying this again.

DocTurtle said...

re Friday: Wow, Pat Benatar is smokin'! I don't remember a character like that in the movie, though. Where's Ice Cube?

Also, Nympho Librarian has gotta be the single awesomest book title I've ever seen.

Anonymous said...

You are killing me!
Mammary Monday is brilliant. I miss you.

Anonymous said...

Man oh man! (figure of speech)..Why didn't they have covers like this when I was in high school? Well actually they probably did, but the libraian at the front door would look at me funny if I tried to check one out.
I was always afraid that she would tell my mom. So now some 30 plus years later: Can I check one out from your library please?

Byron said...

You didn't even mention where the hand of the spritely boy? girl? who is in front ended up on the manga book's cover. The legs are stradling those lucious breasts, and the hand looks to be squeezing a tad.

Anonymous said...

As a high school sci-fi reader, the cover that comes to mind is The Integral Trees by Larry Niven. I had trouble getting past the cover to start reading that one.

Kiwi said...

But, but, Cowboy Bebop is brilliant!

It's a fantastic show! Seriously! Great plot, and and so far I haven't seen any female nudity. Besides...the GUY (yes a guy) on the front of that cover actually has no interest in the woman, Faye. Then again, I'm sure the manga is different, when they change the story over to TV sometimes a lot of the story gets lost. Like how suddenly Sailor Neptune and Uranus from the Sailor Moon series were "just good friends" instead of lesbians like they are in the manga. Furthermore....if you've ever seen any hentai, they have the strangest censorship.

Mystery Person X said...

The Cowboy Bebop manga is based on the anime, not the other way round. From what I hear the manga is inferior.

Also, Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune are still lesbians in the Sailor Moon anime. They were changed to "cousins" for the English dub, but the Japanese version, while never saying it outright, is fairly blatant about their relationship (especially in the fifth season).

Incidentally, since my comment thus far isn't at all relevant to the main post: This blog is great. It cracks me up immensely. I laugh every time I think back to "THAT BABY'S NOT OLD ENOUGH TO GET MARRIED!!!"

Kiwi said...

hey! You aren't the P. Reuben from UGA i know are you?

Also, i had no idea the manga was based on the anime, and I was talking about the english sailor moon version, my bad that I didn't clarify.

Bybee said...

I love the Nympho Librarian cover. Hooray for Phallic Fridays and Mammary Mondays! I can hear Barbra Streisand now: "Mammaries...light the corners of my mind..."

Snow said...

Ah. Mammary Monday. For a nice digression into the "The Questionable Anatomy of the Modern Comic Book Babe", check out http://www.gothhouse.org/gh_parlour/posts/ghp000094.php

Snow said...

hmm... I see that I need the power of Tiny.

Mystery Person X said...

Kiwi: I don't know what UGA is, so probably not :\

Kiwi said...

UGA = University of Georgia

EleriCooks said...

Ahhh, Anime Gravity Defying Boobs! What a wonder!

Much like the Highlander Extadimensional Butt-crack, for those of you who always wondered where those Immortals keep their swords.

Anonymous said...

That was the worst you could do in the manga department? REALLY? My God, what about:

-the flailing penis tentacles?
-The women with breasts larger than their heads?
--that they can type with?
-And the girls whose vulvas are so small they can be sealed with band-aids?

And of course, naked vampires with prepubescent bodies.

Forshame XD. This is hardly the surface!

Chris said...

The Friday cover has a secret surprise (I've got a poster sized print of it signed by Michael Whelan).

If you look closely at the zippers on her jumpsuit, they are all tiny penises.