Unclean Tushie Tuesday.

Even the spirits are fleeing her tramp stamped tushie.

MLK is Responsible for this Post Being Late

All day yesterday I thought it was Monday and all day today I thought it was Tuesday.  In that vein, I present to you...TUSHIE TUESDAY!!!!  A day late and a dollar short, but, hello, BUTTS!  BUMS!  ARSES!  Today's cover features not just an exceptional ass, but also features a glowing turkey baster.  Just what every girl needs.  As submitter, Baron, says, BADONKADONK!

Does anyone else feel like this day is gonna turn into Urban Fantasy day??

Ick

I know we're in a period of popular culture where vampires are all the rage, so it's no surprise that there are a lot of vampire stories out there. And I know that people have their fetishes, so stories (or book covers) depicting a little light S&M don't really shock me either. But this one just grosses me out. If I were her, the second I felt that icky drip hit my lips, I'd scream the secret safe word ("Dolphin!!") and demand to be untied. Then I'd run far, far away.

Does anyone find this cover (as a whole) appealing? I know our male readers will enjoy the main image, but really, when you add in the bloody cherry.... Or maybe that's the subtext?!?! She just lost her virginity! Still. Ewwwww.

Mammary Monday: Goth Edition

Thanks to Larry, who sent me this cover, I now look at this kinda cool goth cover and see kiddy porn. Anyone with me? Yeah, some folks over here: http://www.orbitbooks.net/2009/02/23/cover-launch-tempest-rising/

(the editor (?) tries to defend it by saying she's too "curvy" to be a kid but, damn, this could be a cover for Lolita, yo!)

What I did over my summer vacation

Some of you out there might have been wondering just where the hell I've been the last few months. Well, in addition to fighting off sexbots, recovering from said sexbots, and enduring a double ear infection, I've been reading these books. I trust you'll understand why I had to stay locked up in my cave, away from the discerning public, while reading them once you've seen the covers. Wow, that corpse is sure looking good (good being relative to a corpse, not to a normal human being with any fashion sense whatsoever), even with half her face missing. She's not laughing, though. TRUTH IN ADVERTISING!! Where's her ear? Did it go where the rest of her face went? To a better place than this book cover, I hope!

Who told this artist that half-a-face was intriguing? Was it the same person who taught the artist of the Longarm books? For some reason that idea pleases me.

Oh gods, it gets worse!! The '80s were not a good time for ANYONE'S hair!!

Leather-clad vampire babes with automatic weapons? I'd read that.

What I'm Reading

So right at the moment I'm reading the Dante Valentine series by Lilith Saintcrow (surely a pseudonym, too fortuitous a name for someone who writes urban fantasy). It's a very good urban fantasy series and I enjoy it a lot. But I notice that after the first two books the publisher changed from Warner to Orbit (actually I've just discovered that it's still the same "Hatchett Book Group" so someone must have bought someone else out in the vast conspiracy to make sure there's only one book publisher on the planet, dammit!). Anyway, they also seem to have changed cover artists in the interim, so while the first two covers are scorching hot and rock:

Okay, the man in the flames is kinda cheesy and stupid, but can you go wrong with hot chick plus tattoo plus katana? NO!

My favorite aspect of this cover is that fact that the artist obviously read the book because this exact outfit was described in loving detail. Plus she's got a gun plus a whip plus a sword plus stilettos in her hair so she obviously kicks ass. I think the rendition is perfect, although I do wish the publisher hadn't included a blurb about the PREVIOUS book on the cover of this one, that's just bad form.

The last three simply suck. And that pisses me off. What the fuck happened? When did Danny turn into a transvestite? With some sort of creepy Rambo sword instead of a katana?? Someone really likes faux woodblock art. Blech. I wouldn't pick this book up if it were the first book. Bad artist! Bad! And so it continues:

The worst part of it is that they've re-published the first two books with the same artist who did the last three. Someone needs to get fired over this. Which would you pick up in the store?