Showing posts with label News you can use. Show all posts
Showing posts with label News you can use. Show all posts

5.07.2011

Not a cover, just a plea

Okay, I know you all are sick of me saying I'm coming back to blogging and then blogging for a month or so and then abandoning the blog yet again, but here's the deal.  Since I lost my library job I've had a lot less chance to interact with books with horrid covers, and a lot less time to blog in.  Right now I'm working two jobs, one as a call center drone and one as a freelance proofreader.  Now, freelance proofreading provides me more opportunity to interact with books (I tend to like to do it in public at places like bookstores and coffee houses) and more time to blog (I proof a few pages and then HAVE to stare at something else for a few minutes or my eyes go gaga), but it's a side job while I spend 40 hours a week tethered to a phone in a sweatshop with no opportunity for wit or hilarity.  I'd like that to change, but I need your help.  I know a lot of you are associated with publishing.  If your publishing house (or you) uses freelance proofreaders, why not give me a try?  I'm super pedantic about things which makes me an idea proofer.  And I'm cheap (just ask my husband...).  And my dogs are cute.  That has nothing to do with anything, but I just thought I'd throw it in there.  More money for mommy means more treats for them, and how can you refuse these eyes??



So anyway, if you or anyone you know is looking for a proofreader, hook a maughta up.  You can reach me at hoopml at yahoo dot com, which is my secret identity.

And for the rest of you, keep me in your readers and feeds, because the beast will rise again (I just finished proofing the book of Revelation (spoiler: Babylon did it) so I know what I'm talking about here).  In the meantime, I recommend the following blogs for some bookish humor.

Pop Sensation
Good Show Sir
My First Dictionary
Book Cover Judge

1.03.2011

2011 Seems like a good year to go to hell



I'm baaaaaaaaaaack! I've managed to crawl out of the pit of despair, only mostly dead, to once again bring you terrible, awful, horrendous, and highly hilarious book covers. And who better to start off the year with than Peek-a-Boo Jesus! I'm just dying to know what Aryan Jesus is hiding, don't you?

To my faithful hordes: Thank you for sustaining me in my hour of need. Jesus and I will be waiting, perhaps around the next corner, to jump out and shout, "Peek-a-boo!"



To my new readers: Welcome! This was once a very successful blog, and by golly, with your help, it will be so again!
To Biker Puppy: Thanks so much for sustaining the vibe. You rock!

In other news, I don't work in a library any more, so I need all the covers you can send me! Judgeabook@yahoo.com is open and taking suggestions. Mammary Monday and Phallic Phridays can't commence without your help. Thanks to Jane Dough for peek-a-boo Jesus!

And, as a shameless bit of friend promotion, my good friend Darin Bradley wrote a book. It's totally awesome and apocalyptic and you should go out and buy ten copies right now. The cover is rather cool, so I'll just let you cleanse your palate as you await the next installment of Judge. A. Book. By. Its. Cover. Be afraid.

12.06.2009

8.20.2009

Honor and Glory!

My readers rock. You know how I know this? 'Cause I've been nominated for a Book Blogger Appreciation Award in the best Special Interest Blog category. *sniff* I'm so chuffed. It's an honor to be nominated and be in such glorious company with Rex Parker's Pop Sensation and Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, among others.


But! I need your help. I need to submit five of my posts that best represent my blog. Any suggestions? A Baen book, perhaps? Definitely have to throw in a Mammary Monday and a Phallic Phriday submission. But which? I'm stumped. What do you think??


In other news, look to the left------>


There's a link for my etsy store. I add new stuff all the time. Buy something and I will offer you the opportunity to guest blog a book cover or two. You know you want to. You can also scroll down for my Paypal "donate" link if you aren't feeling in the need of something crafty. If you've already bought something or donated something and would like to take advantage of this opportunity, throw me a line over at judgeabook@yahoo.com.


And, since I can't leave you alone without a book cover to snark on...Here's a note from my former supervisor along with a cover. Is her head on fire???







5.02.2008

sick

Hey y'all,

I'm under the weather. Since no one's actually RSVPed to meet me on Sunday I'm gonna go ahead and cancel the meetup. If you were just aching to go let me know and I'll reschedule.

More hideous covers to come soon!

4.18.2008

Ooops!

Eeek, it's been a whole week. I swore I wouldn't do that to you again, and then look what happens! Bad Maughta! No biscuits for you. Erm...me. Damn, third person fucks me up again! This always happens late on Friday.

Okay, I'm waffling because, quite frankly, I don't actually have a book to post right now. Maybe tomorrow? I promise!!!

But I do have news! Everyone once in a while things happen in my life that have nothing to do with book covers (say it ain't so!). Mostly it's weird things happening at the reference desk. You ever want to see crazy people go to your downtown library on a full moon and watch the folks who come to the reference desk. Of course, you'll be one of the weirdos hanging out in the library on a full moon, too, so watch out! Anyway, I've decided to revive an old blog of mine, I Hate Asheville. Here you will find my various musings. Enjoy!

Since I've denied you a chance to laugh at bad book covers, here's my gift to you: The enormously funny "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks. It's my new "favorite" blog! No, really, it is!

Also, since I've let the cat out of the bag that I'm here in the lovely town of Asheville (note to stalkers and secret admirers: I like chocolate), I figure it's a good time to invite all my closest readers to meet me and DocTurtle (if I can convince him) at Burgermeister on Haywood Road in West Asheville on Sunday, May 4th at 1:30pm for burgers, beers, and a big ole basket of onion rings. Drop me a line if you can make it!

And finally, on a more personal note, I've recently (after thirty some odd years) discovered my dream job. Did you know there's a thing called "Publisher's Reader?" I didn't! Apparently publishing people will pay someone to read their slush piles. Holy shit! Get paid to read? Sign me up! So if any of my publishing readers have some manuscripts just dyin' to be read, let me know. I prefer fantasy and mysteries and things I don't have to think to much to read (ugh, philosophy, yuck!), but I'll read anything that's fiction. Plus I work cheeeep!

1.15.2008

Think Like a Cat and Other Useless Wastes of Time

That cat is thinking:

Oooh! Shiny! Creepy woman, staring at me! Fluffy hair. Want to scratch. Is that a bug?!? Must kill! Itch!!! Feline behaviorist, my ass! Wall...mmmmm...fascinating wall. Red and yellow are NOT good colors to be dancing above my head. Creepy woman still staring at me!! She twists whiskers! Get away!! Shiny camera, must topple. Destruction! Mmmmm, bug.


In other news, this blog has been named as one of the Ten Blogs to Read in 2008 by LISNews (I voted for the effing librarian, myself...sorry, eff!). I must say I am unbelievably chuffed, and promise to only use my powers for good. Ooooh, shiny! Destruction!

So, what do YOU think the cat is thinking?

12.14.2007

Hop on the conga line!

Everyone's doing it!!! As a colleague said to my yesterday, "I know you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but..."

Smart Bitches Trashy Books

Cracked

Have YOU judged a book lately? Send me your favorites!

12.07.2007

She's alive!!!!!!!

OMG, have I been neglecting you fine people! I have no excuse. Well, I could probably make up an excuse, but it would involve the CIA and black helicopters, and I'd have to kill you. Of course, DocTurtle tells me that I probably don't have any readers anymore, so I could make up all the lies I want. Y'see, there were these turtles...in Ecuador...and a blimp...a biiiiiiig pink blimp...and you were there, and you and you! But I'll miss you most of all, Scarecrow! And Mrs. King!




Okay, seriously, I went to Montana in that time and visited my in-laws for Thanksgiving. So we brought the camera, but did I take pictures of Peggy and Loren (DocTurtle's folks)? No. How about Brad (DocTurtle's brother) and his fiancee, Sarah (hello future sister in-law in-law!)? Of course not! Did we even take pictures of Peggy and Loren's three birds; Squak who used to sit on my shoulder but doesn't come down much anymore, Phoenix who haaaaaates me and waits to ambush me when I come into the room from the bathroom, or Cheeky the newby bird? Nah, who wants pictures of adorable parrots. Did I take pictures of my ALL-TIME FAVORITE USED BOOKSTORE? You bet your ass I did!




Now, I'm a book snob. And a used book store connoisseur. So you know if I have a favorite, it's gotta be fucking awesome, right? So here's the bookstore that Richard runs:










And here's Richard:






If you're ever travelling through Helena, go to Van Nice Books at 216 E Lyndale Ave. You won't regret it. I promise!



So you may be asking yourself, "Self, what does this have to do with book covers?" Well, here's what I found at Van Nice's:




Iggy Pop! In armor! And whiteface! Totally freaking me out!!!





Ah, the joys of self-publication. What I want to know is, did the author paint this picture, too? 'Cause if the book is as bad as the cover it might be fun to read!


I also took some pictures of a totally cool spontaneous art explosion that was happening in a potted plant near the Starbucks (damn you, and your irresistible peppermint mochas!) in the Detroit Airport. If you're headed through there, check it out!


Stay tuned for more covers. I promise! Now stop nagging me, Maughtamom.

11.17.2007

I'm a Lazy Bitch

Okay, so after being amazingly negligent in posting recently and I apologize. I promise to try and be better soon. Please keep sending me covers and links, as it makes my job easier (and I'm a lazy bitch).

DocTurtle and I recently purchased a 2006 Honda Civic Hybrid, so I've been driving all over the mountains of NC in my new toy (and working extra hours to pay for it!). I won 1200 nickels on the slots at Cherokee, which sounds like a lot more than it is (my mom, maughtamom, can top me; she won 60,000 pennies once). But in the meantime, I've been neglecting you sorely, for which I apologize. Thanks for sticking with me.

So of course, after that apology, I'm still not posting (not really). Just wanted to let you know that I've been nominated (yay!) for Top 10 Blogs to read in 2008 by LISNews. Thanks to effinglibrarian and anonymous for nominating me. Cross your fingers, ya'll.

More covers to come soon, I promise!

9.20.2007

Rabbits. Rabbits, rabbits, rabbits.




You're Watership Down!

by Richard Adams

Though many think of you as a bit young, even childish, you're actually incredibly deep and complex. You show people the need to rethink their
assumptions, and confront them on everything from how they think to where they build their houses. You might be one of the greatest people of all time. You'd be recognized as such if you weren't always talking about talking rabbits.



Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

9.07.2007

Not a Phallic Phriday Post

Well, not even a book post, but interesting (to me) nonetheless. Because it's so freakin' funny, here are some of the search terms that people have been using to find my blog. I don't ever remember discussing Jesus dipped in urine OR little bunny naked. Oh, and some people are really into pecs.

Of course, that said, I'm glad no one can access my search histories!

librarian blog
book covers
the texas-israeli war book
judge a book by its cover
judging a book by its coverb
ook covers
you can't judge a book by looking at its cover
first paragraph of room 13
ya gay lit blog
you shouldn't judge a book by its cover
little bunny naked
greek themed romantic fiction
never judge a book by its cover cartoon
covers
never judge a book by its cover and other morals
huge pecs
what does dont judge the book by its cover mean?
naked hunk blogspot
stop snarking
good literary fiction
what is literary fiction
dont judge a book by its cover speech
wedding greek judge
prison pulp erotica
i can't help myself 2007
triple play
fortune's fool lackey
mammary monday
the biggest pecs
nancy drew pulp book cover
creepy baby names
judge baby names
do not judge a book by its cover quote
romance novels trash
ymatador of shame
bad book covers
cover - greek
books trailsman
jesus dipped in urine
rumble fish old cover
freakin-huge
my pecs are too big
saw book covers
how to judge a book by its cover
don't judge the book by its cover story
how much money is one book cover from cvs
judge a book by its cover blog
harlequin greece
how to cover books
phun
male pecs biggest
giant pecs
you cant judge a book by its cover

5.23.2007

The Most Rebarbative Envelope Pictures

Guten Tag to all my German speaking readers. I found this while perusing my stat counter:

Die Falsifizierung von Binsenweisheiten
Wer auch immer behauptet hat, man könne Bücher nicht nach dem Äußeren beurteilen, kannte offensichtlich Judge a book by its cover nicht: in diesem Blog veröffentlicht eine Bibliothekarin die garstig- sten Umschlagbilder, die ihr im Rahmen ihrer Arbeit unter die Augen kommen.


Now, it's been a while since I've had German (and then just barely enough to pass the reading competency exam for grad school), so I put this through a trusty translator program that I found online (it's amazing, these internets!). Here's the translation I got:

The Falsifizierung of Binsenweisheiten
Whoever has stated, one can judge books not by the appearance, Judge a book by its cover did not know obviously: in this Blog a librarian publishes the most rebarbative envelope pictures which you
come within the scope of her work under the eyes.


I'm so chuffed! I promise to continue publishing the most rebarbative envelope pictures I can find. Next time. I promise.

Auf Wiedersehen!

5.16.2007

Headed North by Northwest

So folks, DocTurtle and I are off to Kentucky to visit the WORLD FAMOUS Mammoth Cave. I apologize for the snark interruption. I'll be sure the check the gift shop for any good books.
Because they're just so damned snarkworthy, here're some more Harlequin NASCAR romances. Enjoy!


(Is there one of these titles that's not a '90s rock song?!)

5.08.2007

Metapost

So I have been working my butt off for the last fifteen minutes (at least!) for you all, sadly to no avail, trying to find a good picture of the following covers: Youth Violence (Current Controversies) by Michael D. Biskup and Charles P. Cozic (Paperback - Sep 1992) and The Harmony Arms (An Avon Flare Book) by Ronald Koertge (Paperback - Sep 1994). If any one of my intrepid readers can manage to track down a good picture of either of these titles, you'll have my undying gratitude (and surely that's worth at least the cost of a cup of coffee, right?).

But this gives me a good chance to stop for a moment and say to everyone who comes here, especially the 150 or so returning visitors that I get every day, thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm glad that you like this idea. I'm glad that you find me entertaining enough to take a few moments and read my mindless blather. I'm glad that you leave comments which are, for the most part, funnier than whatever I say. I'm glad when you send me suggestions of book covers to snark on. To those of you from Austria, Germany, UK, Canada, Norway, China, Japan, New Zealand, Australia, and all the other places I dream of one day going, welcome. To my Mom, who worries about my language, my best friend, who corrects my grammar (bad grammar makes me [sic]), and everyone whom I know and don't know, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. To the publishing industry folk, thank you, and please don't sue me (and surely you have money in your budgets to hire a freelance cover approver, right?!). Especially to all the other librarians; y'all rock, and I'm glad I left graduate school to pursue librarianshipnessity.


Anyway, I've dribbled on long enough. I promise to keep posting regularly as long as y'all continue coming regularly. Drop me a line, eh? Oh, and 'cause I know my dogs are the cutest ever, here're some more gratuitous dog pictures. Ciao for now!

5.01.2007

Google me this...

News you can't use, but it's cool anyway:

If you do a google search on Longarm western books this blog shows up as #9. Yes, yes, I do indeed rock.

Boo ya!

UPDATE:

I have to say, everyone is less cool than I am (I'm coming down off a cold and feeling invincible again!). Although I did enjoy this guy's description of Longarm: Mark B's Place. He mentions several times how massively well-endowed Longarm is. I could have told you that from the name!

UPDATE 2, ELECTRIC BOOGALOO:

I'm totally #3 if you google Longarm Tabor Evans. Okay, no more playing with google. It's going to my (massively endowed) head. Oops, I lied anyway. I'm actually #63. Damn. I'm an idiot.

3.25.2007

Judge a Book by its Cover NEWS FLASH




Harlequin books seeks "real men" for covers
Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:05pm ET
By Jonathan Spicer


TORONTO (Reuters) - Real men don't pose for the cover of a Harlequin romance. And that's something the publisher wants to change.

Representatives of Harlequin Enterprises, the world's biggest publisher of romance novel series, inspected the assets of about 200 men who lined up at a Toronto casting house on Saturday to prove they could flutter readers' hearts better than professional models.

"We're looking for some guys that are not your usual models, but have that iconic look that women go for -- sexy, sensitive, beautiful and fit," said Harlequin spokeswoman Marleah Stout, who attended the open casting.
"We want real men ... exactly what you think in your mind when you're fantasizing or imagining that ideal man."

Toronto-based Harlequin, a division of newspaper group Torstar Corp., sold 131 million books in 94 countries last year. It estimates that a third of American women have read at least one of its titles.

Until now, the publisher relied on modeling agencies to supply bodies for its concupiscent covers. But the readership -- predominantly female and averaging 42 years of age -- was upset when slight, young cover models clashed with the brawny, mature heroes described within.

"Some of the heroes are captains of industry, billionaires," said Deborah Peterson, a Harlequin creative designer and a judge at the audition. "A lot of the models were too young, men in their twenties ... and our audience likes men a little bit older, a bit bigger, than the runway models."


At the Toronto casting, chiseled hopefuls shed their shirts and donned a cowboy hat for the panel while a handful of other judges watched on closed-circuit camera in an adjacent room.

Several were asked to return for a book cover shot, where they may earn up to C$250 ($215) an hour, according to male modeling agencies.

Others indulged their own fantasies.

"From what I understand, (Harlequin) readers are women who want to escape from the relationship that they're in," said auditioner Carlos Troccoli, 30, who was tall, sturdy and muscular. "I can bring that to them."


---------------------------------------------------


Yeah, just what I want to see on Harlequin covers. "Real" men with beer bellies and wife beaters who think of readers as sex-starved housefraus. Of course, check out the pictures that go along. Obviously this one guy had the "right" stuff...if you know what I mean...and I think you do...yummy.