Good Books, Lousy Covers

So there's been some call for me to stop picking easy targets (romance novels, Baen sci-fi covers, Christian chick lit) and profile some good books. *Sigh* You people demand so much from me! I hesitate to do this because sometimes it's hard to disassociate covers from novels, but here goes:

Billy Budd -- Good Book, Bad Cover

"Check me out, ladies. I've got a mullet, a pornstache*, and a rakishly-tilted kerchief round my neck...I'm ready for action!"

"No, no! Look at me, baby! I've got a tattoo! My kerchief is bigger, too! Of course, I've got this creepy guy staring over my shoulder..."

The Natural -- Good Book, Bad Cover

Clockwise from top:

  • Creepy Clown
  • Mysterious Ghostly Gypsy
  • Basketball Players from a Different Book
  • Ollie North
  • Vampy Transvestite

And a host of others, all surrounding Dick Tracy at bat with a HUGE...peni...ummm...right thigh.

Anything by Anthony Trollope -- Good Book, Bad Cover

Drawn in ink and dipped in urine for your reading pleasure.

And finally, Good Book about Jesus -- Bad Cover

Jesus' disembodied head is staring at you!

Okay, confession time. I thought long and hard about this book 'cause it's written by my advisor from grad school, and she's super scary. But nowhere in the book does it say "Thanks to Maughta, without whom my life would have no meaning," so I feel justified in this scurrilous attack. Hell hath no fury like a graduate student scorned. A-J, if you're reading this, please don't hunt me down and kill me, but seriously, couldn't you have picked a better picture of Jesus?! Maybe one that looked Jewish? (Yeah, you'd maybe have to draw that yourself, but surely it'd be better!) Jesus's aquiline nose is frightening the bejeebus out of me. Amazingly good book, though.

In other news, just got a link in my e-mail from Pistil Books that you've got the check out: The Museum of Weird Books. I think you'll enjoy it!

*MaughtaMom and other easily confused people: pornstache means a mustache that looks like it should be on a porn star


Anonymous said...

I love, love, love creepy dude in the second Billy Budd cover. It's like he's saying, "What, you're going to pretend that last night never happened now that the book cover artist is here?" Plus, I'm pretty sure he's not wearing any pants.

DocTurtle said...

Re Billy Budd, the first: Boom-chicka-boooow-bum-bum...Damn! Special appearance by John Holmes as "Long" John Silver.

Re Billy Budd, the second: I think this is a Paul Delvaux painting.

Anonymous said...

I really love that you now have a "personal vendettas" tag. It makes me fantasize about cataloging the events in my life and seeing which ones I'd mark with that tag.

1st up: Hearing Nelly Furtado blaring from a car waiting at the light on my street for the 1000th goddamn time in one night ....

Anonymous said...

Say, Billy Budd, I would happily lose both of my legs, if it meant you could be free of artists who insist on drawing you like one of several varieties of twat.

Snow said...

Regarding The Natural, I'm pretty sure that there was a mix-up and the publishing house mistook the author's margin doodles for the artist's cover art.

The captain is staring at young Billy so intently in the second cover because he's convinced Billy is actually a girl. This explains the perplexed expression because he's never lusted after a real girl before.

Tabitha said...

The first Billy Budd looks like Aldo Kelrast before he switched to a ginger bowl cut his
ill-fated role
in Mary Worth.

Phoebe said...

Yes, this Jesus is hiddeous, but that red tilted stripe across his forehead, the sort of stripe that traditionally says "NEW LOW PRICE!" or "SHOCKING! - Jackie Collins", that thing is just baffling.