Sultry Sunday #26: the weekly "Pop Sensation" crossover

Happy Sunday - here's your Pop Sensation crossover post. It's not the sultriest of covers, but it'll have to do...

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Paperback 215: Lion Books 111 (1st ptg, 1952)

Title: Company K
Author: William March
Cover artist: Rafael DeSoto



Best things about this cover:

• DeSoto is one of the great naturalistic cover artists, and this cover is really expertly painted. Beautiful, detailed, evocative of the suffering of war. I'm finding this cover slightly hard to make fun of. Although ... if her stroking and pumping that giant lever isn't innuendo, I don't know what is. That is, if "she" is indeed a woman. The novel is, after all, "flaming."
• I'm afraid of the guy at the front of that line. He looks like he's lost all hope ... or else he is a golem or a droid or something.
• "The Flaming Novel of Men and Women at War" - sounds like a book about the battle of the sexes. "Men Are From Mars ... : WWI Edition!"

Best things about this back cover:

• "Company K is a Knockout"! Letter play not so effective when the "K" is silent. "Company G is a Gnat-infested Gnightmare"
• This back cover is in Love with alliteration. Courage and cowardice ... lustings (!?) and lies, daring, doom, and death.
• It's appropriate that this book is somewhat purple, because check out the prose in that second paragraph. March impales angry moments with his bayonet-pen!?
• I like the little flag, particularly the wacky font of the letters.

This is a pretty famous and well-received novel of W. W. I, organized into micro-chapters about every single man in the company. Blurbs inside from Granville Hicks, Graham Greene, James T. Farrell, and Phyllis Bentley (whoever that is).

Page 123~

On Monday a kid from my company named Ben Hunzinger got fifteen years hard labor for deserting in the face of the enemy, and a long talk from Mr. Fairbrother about justice tempered with mercy.

Whoa, "Mr. Fairbrother?" Is this an allegory?

~RP

Phriday again!

Happy Phallic Phriday everone!

My first, second, and third reaction to this cover is WTF??? It's just wrong on so many levels. First, it's called "Touch Your Toes" and he's not even trying to do that. Second, it gives a date range, like he's someone we should know and care about, and as if this date range should have some significance to us. Third, I can't tell if that's a modesty dot or if he's straddling a doorknob. Seriously, I can't tell.

I did some research and I guess Baer is a photographer obsessed with having naked men reach for their toes. This is volume 1. There's a sequel. By the way, neither the cover nor the reverse shows a man touching his toes, even though that's what Baer was striving for. Oh, and to answer my own question above, it IS a modesty dot. If you use the "random page" feature of Amazon, just be aware that it's Not Safe For Work (well, depending on where you work, of course!).

Maybe I'm not artsy enough, but I find this kind of repulsive. Don't get me wrong, I love the male body, but this is just creepy. Thoughts?

blurb smurb

Okay, so the cover isn't all that horrible, but I'm just ferklempt at the blurb.






If you can't read the fine print, it says

"It's unlikely you'll read a more unusual novel this year."

In what way can you possibly parse this to make it a good thing?!?

Tuesday Toofer!

Hey y'all. So DocTurtle and I were out to dinner this eve and I said I was thinking of posting on my blog and he said, "you have a blog??" Seriously, I know I'm lame, but kudos and thanks to Rex Parker and Biker Puppy for keeping the home fires stoked. Y'all are my best friends that I've never met!

Anyway...some fun stuff that I've gotten in my e-mail lately (judgeabook (y'know) yahoo (ditto) com)

While it is true that all the cool kids hang in the library it is also true, as I've learned by moving from my previous incarnation as an academic librarian to my current life as a public librarian, that all the creepy kids hang in the library, too. And creepy old guys. Who smell like goats.

Thanks, Patrick!

And Jenna W sent this awesome link to IO9 with the creepiest crouching lady I've ever seen (not that I've seen that many crouching ladies, but I have been around). Hooker elves, too. Check it out!

Patrick tells me he'll be super gentle when sending me this cover from failblog:

It looks to me like little Timmy doesn't have to worry because Superman has, if that black stain is any indication, blown his superwad. Nothin' left but the cuddlin'.

And finally, a cover I found on my very own at my very own liberry!

In a perfect future world accordions cease to exist, they don't get spacier. But it's the expression on the guy's face (not to mention the blindfold!) that suggests to me this book would be better authored by someone from Ellora's Cave (a never-ending font of putrid covers!) or written by Pynk than the great (if sexually boring) Robert Heinlein. At least, I assume he was sexually boring. For all I know he was a furry.

Popular outcast?

Before I start snarking on the title and cover, I have to admit I'm a huge Star Wars fan. (Yes, I'm a geek. I also do logic puzzles for fun. But on the flip-side, I also ride my Harley with my dog on the weekends. Does that redeem me? No? Hmm.) I love all of the six SW movies (I've seen A New Hope at least 100 times), and I've read a good number of the "expanded universe" books (books that go beyond the stories and characters of the movies). That's why I find this cover so very disappointing.

First, let's discuss the title. "Fate of the Jedi" is a good new series/trilogy/whatever title. I'm fine with that. But "Outcast"?? Focusing on the Hero of the Rebellion? The guy who single-handedly (well, maybe with a little help from his buddy Han) saved the universe from the evil grip of Darth Vader and the Emperor?? What?? Ok, I admit, Luke was getting pretty weird by the end of Return of the Jedi, and even weirder in some of the books that tell a "later" story, but an "outcast"? I think Mr. Allston was just being lazy in picking a title.

Low, let's get to the cover's aesthetic appeal. Or, rather, complete lack of any aesthetics. Why is it just orange and blue?? The SW universe is an amazingly vibrant and dynamic setting for any story, but all we get is dichromatic blah. There's what appears to be a unique-looking city-scape behind Luke, that might be very visually stunning if it were in color(s). Not to mention either a new Death Star or a cool-looking moon in the sky -- why don't we get to see it clearly? And what's with making Skywalker all blue? They could bother with an extra color for his lightsaber but not for his clothing? What's that boring white strip along the bottom? It appears to be either another city-scape or Luke's EKG reading, but you can barely tell it's there, because... well, it's all white. And why does Luke appear to be disappearing into it? Does the cover bore even him?

I suppose it's probably hard to find artists willing to draw Star Wars art or characters at all, let alone in full color. Seriously, if you search the Internet, you'll hardly find any at all. I guess the publishers did the best they could. Blah!

Sultry Sunday #25: the weekly "Pop Sensation" crossover

Whoops, missed last week. Sorry about that. Moving right along ... carnies!
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Paperback 212: Gold Medal 372 (PBO, 1954) - Canadian Edition

Title: Notorious (no, not that "Notorious")
Author: Day Keene
Cover artist: Uncredited



Best things about this cover:

• The fact that the Canada-only "35c" price tag overrides the Giant "25c" sign in the middle of the cover painting.
• Innocent country girl tries to make it in the big ... Carny?
• "I want to look like her. Can you do that, leering carnival barker man?"
• "So, whatcha got in the suitcase, lady?" "Murder." "Oh ... I see."
• "Murder in her suitcase" - this makes me hope for something gloriously bloody, like a small chainsaw with which she starts beheading everyone in site: "Is this part of the show, mama?"
• I Really wish the lady in the foreground weren't so damned shadowed

Best things about this back cover:

• Say what you will about Day Keene, he could totally rock the 'stache.
• Ferron! "They call me Ferron: The Iron Man"
• "the main chance"? - is that Canadian for "the big score"?

Page 123~

Kelcey struck Ferron in the face. "Where's the money, carny? Where's the eighteen grand?"

~RP

We sometimes think they don't have a brain, but ....

Full title: The Anti-Intellectual Presidency: The Decline of Presidential Rhetoric from George Washington to George W. Bush.
From the Publishers Weekly: "...Lim investigates what he sees as a particularly American phenomenon whereby most presidents have preferred to appear less, not more intellectually inclined than they actually were." Politics aside, it sounds like an interesting discussion, but the cover just creeps me out.

I mean, they say that clothes make the man, right? (Personally, I think if that were true, those of us who are still single and looking for Mr. Right could settle for Mr. Could-Be and just buy him the proper clothing. Trust me, doesn't work!) In this case, clothes are the man. Yikes. Ok, I get it, presidents don't want to appear like egg-heads that might make the average citizen feel dumb. Or something. But headless? And apparently neckless as well? That's just creepy. Apparently the White House has an amazing laundry facility. They can starch your shirt to the point where it can hold up a jacket, tie and collar, without you even in it. This could be why so many presidents seem so uncomfortable all the time. I suspect they use the same formula for the underwear as well.

It's Phriday!

I went for the blatantly obvious today: semi-graphic picture and juvenile title. Teehee. I recall my male high school classmates constantly informing their female cohorts that it does, indeed, have a mind of its own, and therefore, what it does is not the boy's fault. Never. His. Fault. Apparently, David Friedman agrees.

The book examines the penis throughout history, and provides such tidbits (according to Amazon.com) as: "...the Romans, whose generals were known to promote soldiers based on penis size, saw it as an indicator of earthly strength." I know some women who agree, and promote their boyfriends accordingly.

Funny how they didn't think his face was very important -- we usually see this with women, don't we? And I love how the "O" of "Own" exactly circles the object of discussion. I usually try to get a picture of the book cover without Amazon's "click to look inside" marker on it, but I thought it was appropriate for this book. Teehee. I'm looking forward to hearing how many of you are put off by the cover and how many of you might pick this book up just because of the picture. I suspect it may vary based on gender and sexual orientation (and who is at the checkout desk where you would borrow or buy the book).

Sultry Sunday #24 - The weekly "Pop Sensation" crossover

Fabulous find for you today - a small paperback publisher from the early 50s brings you naked dancing and more smoke than you're apt to see anywhere outside of a Pink Floyd concert.

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Paperback 207: Readers-Choice Library No. 8 (1st ptg, 1950)

Title: Green Light for Death
Author: Frank Kane
Cover artist: [Blickenstaff]



Best things about this cover:

• "Is that a naked banshee over there in the corner? Doing the Lambada? O man, I'm so wasted..."
• "Misunderstanding the concept of "War on Drugs" completely, Johnny Liddell began firing randomly at the smoke that filled the room."
• I have "marijuana!" written on the ID sticker on this book's plastic bag, but I can't find confirming evidence that pot is at all involved in this story. I will say, though, that there are references to cigarettes, pipes, and smoking in general on virtually every page.
• Love love love the naked dancer's necklace, captured in mid-air. Lovely.
• Also love the disaffected Brando look-alike at the small of her back. For some reason, in my mind, he is French.

Best things about this back cover:

• Text!
• I'm not sure "accident or suicide" really warrants quoting.

Page 123~

Liddell's eyes sought out Mike Lane where he sat gloating like an obscene Buddha, his tiny eyes fixed hungrily on the cavorting girl, his head nodding in time to the music.

Unless Mike Lane is a fat Asian hip-hop fan, this simile sucks.

~RP

Sultry Sunday #23 - The weekly "Pop Sensation" crossover

OK, Rex Parker here, back from being sick / at the American Crossword Puzzle Tournament. Yes, my life is exciting, thanks for noticing. Today, I actually feature books that contain good writing. For once.

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Paperback 204: Ace G-512 (1st ptg / 1st ptg)

Title: The Girl Who Had to Die / The Blank Wall
Author: Elisabeth Sanxay Holding
Cover artist: Uncredited / Uncredited

Yours for: $11


Best things about this cover:

• There was this floating head that liked to eat sailboats, which made the tall, dark, mysterious man on the beach very sad. The end.
• What is it with the rainy day covers on all these Holding novels? Dreary and decidedly unhot. More skin, please.
• Actually, on third or fourth look, the streaks look less like rain than like the trim on some elaborate fur hat. Or a really, really bad haircut.

Best things about this other cover:

• This is one of my favorite pieces of crime fiction ever written. Ever. Seriously, it's that good. And unusual. Super suspenseful, with really complex and interesting characters. Women that aren't just femmes fatales. Just great. Provides a fascinating glimpse into domestic life during WWII (i.e. while the husband is away at war). Wish it would stay in @#$@ing print!
• More lazy art. Etch-a-sketch posing as op-art. And I think the guy from the other cover just walked through the book and ended up here. That lady is not a very good hider.

Page 123~ (from The Blank Wall)

"Here's something you might be glad of," he said, and held out three little capsules, bright yellow.

~RP

Yoooo hooo!

Instead of "The Amateur Marriage" this book should be entitled "The Amateur Homeowners." Or "The Amateur Exhibitionists." I had a neighbor like this once. Very disturbing. I'm pretty sure he had no shades or drapes on the window at all, because they were always open. Maybe he truly was an exhibitionist, but he frequently paraded around naked with a light on at night. Perhaps "paraded" is the wrong word, but he definitely walked around. Unfortunately, it wasn't Brad Pitt or Russell Crowe, you know, a guy you might enjoy seeing walk around in his bedroom. No, he looked a lot like Michael Moore. Very, very scary. I think he accounts for some of my neuroses.

Watch out!

There's nothing overtly wrong with this cover, right? A nice, fancy schmancy pen lying on a sheet of crinkled paper. Very nonthreatening. Why, then, do I feel an almost irresistible urge to step back from the picture? I felt it immediately upon seeing the cover, but it took me a moment to figure out why. I think I'm afraid of being written on. Maybe it's just me, but the pen looks very 3-D (kudos to the photographer or cover artist). I've had many similar-looking pens bleed all over me. I'm uncomfortable just looking at it. Maybe I'm neurotic. Maybe I've stepped over the line into crazy. Maybe.... I think I'll end here.

Pointedy Phallic

How's it hangin'? Apparently to the left.

This is like the anti-phallus book. It's all sharp and pointy and you want to yell out, "No! Don't touch it!" There's nothin' right about that. I wish the side and back of the book continued with the chick picture so we could see her face making that sexy-pouty-lip-lickin' kinda face. 'Cause you know that's what she's doin'. Or have I been watching too many beer commercials?

(I want to take this moment to prostrate (prostate) myself at the feet of BikerPuppy, who's been doing such and excellent job keeping up slack. Don't worry, Maughtamom, I'll start doing my own blog again, but it's always nice to have help.)

Yummy!

In keeping with the childishness I demonstrated with my last post, I thought this would be a great book for Friday. Nothing phallicky today (sorry!), but at least a good send-off for the weekend. I wasn't going to post it, but the comments on the Moose with Loose Poops post made me think I'm not the only one who appreciates juvenile (and somewhat scatological) humor. Teehee!

As with the last book, it's the title that gets me. Did they really not think of it when they titled this book? Or are they just as bad as I am, laughing to themselves ("poop!!") as they send the book out for distribution? I would suspect it's the latter, but given some of the awful book covers we've seen, it might be that some publishers are just more clueless than I give them credit for.

Enjoy! (And think of this next time you make cookies!)

Um.... what?

Sorry for posting twice in one day, but this made me laugh so hard I couldn't wait to put it up. Actually, I almost peed my pants. I know I'm not really laughing at the cover. My juvenile sense of humor can't get past the title. I'm sure this is a wonderful book to teach kids about being sick, but... the word "poop" is in the title! I just can't stop giggling. Make it stop!! Poop!!!

Familiar?

Is there anyone who looks at the cover of The Singing and doesn't think of the painting "American Gothic" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Americangothic.jpg)?

From what I can glean from the reviews on Amazon, this book (and the series) borrows heavily from The Lord of the Rings. Having not read Croggon's book, here's what I believe, based solely on the cover: Where Tolkien's world is both bright and vibrant and dark and ominous, Croggon's world is drab and dull and ugly. A weak sun and a bleak landscape surround characters who hold little interest for the viewers. The boy either has a haughty expression, looking down his nose at the reader, or is about to sneeze. The girl is holding a lap harp, but does the picture engender any interest about her playing abilities? No. Do you wonder where they are going? Or why they stopped here? No. Surround that drabness with orange and you have the epitome of boring.

At least with American Gothic, you wonder what the lady is looking at, why her husband is holding the pitchfork tine-side up, and where they got their ugly curtains.

Stay silent!

This has to be one of the dreariest covers I've ever seen. I guess that's supposed to be a waterfall behind her, which is nice (although not "silent"), but we are looking at her through a dirty, mossy pane of glass. Grubby.

I have nothing against poetry, although I'm more a fan of poets like Shakespeare and Frost than the stuff in this book (Amazon will let you read a few pages). I don't even mind "dark" poetry - I'm quite fond of Poe, actually.

However, with this cover, this book just screams "dull and depressing" to me. The hat she's wearing is very unattractive, for one thing, and I'm pretty sure her shirt is made out of sack-cloth. More depressing, though, is her strained expression. I can't tell what she's trying to convey. It's not exactly a mysterious expression, just ... weird. Like she's horribly constipated or something. Doesn't make me eager to read this.

Ouch!

This cover makes me very uncomfortable. Why, you ask? Is it because the handsome vampire (apparently the hero of the series) is about to bite this woman on the neck? No. That's standard vampire fare. Is it because the only touch of color is the blood-red (well, more like coral-orange) on her lips? No, though I can't figure out why her lips are red rather than his. Is it because she apparently thought tattooing a bat on her boob was a good idea? Absolutely ouch, but no, that's not it either.

This cover makes me flash back to those hot summer days when, as kids, we would all play with water balloons. Remember that? Epic battles in the streets of your neighborhood? (When I did it, it was before the Super Soaker could take out a whole team in one fell swoop, and before hitting someone with a balloon was a lawsuit-in-the-making.) Remember how, occasionally, you were preparing to whip a balloon at your friend, but you'd grab it too tight? It would strain, strain, strain, and then burst all over you. That's what this cover reminds me of. Maybe her dress is too tight, but I think it's more likely that she has too much silicone in those implants. They look dangerously overinflated!! Any second now, our hero will be saturated, not with blood, but with saline. Yikes!

Sultry Sunday #22 - The weekly "Pop Sensation" crossover

OK, so it's Sultry Monday. I was away for the weekend, during which I made a new purchase. It ties in nicely with the last post, re: how (not) to use babies on book covers. Enjoy.

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Paperback 200: Perma Books M-4026 (2nd ptg, 1955)

Title: That None Should Die
Author: The insanely prolific Frank G. Slaughter
Cover artist: Charles Binger

So I had an early 70s movie tie-in of Chester Himes' "Cotton Comes to Harlem" all cued up and ready to go as my 200th Paperback ... and then I went to Plattsburgh.


Best things about this cover:

• This doctor is

a. preparing to shoot the newborn at the ceiling like a rubberband
b. preparing to make "newborn tea"
c. deciding whether to keep it or throw it back
d. looking Way too long and hard at the baby's genital region, or
e. so handsome that nobody cares what he's actually doing

• I love how the mother is the very least important figure on the cover - almost like an afterthought, or a shorthand visual cue to let you know that the baby is alive and he didn't steal it.
• "That none should die, Dr. Rand Handsome ingested the mysterious, rune-inscribed baby before it could explode."

Best things about this back cover:

• "That story alone is fascinating" - uh, no, sorry it's not.
• If this description makes the book sound anti-socialized/nationalized medicine, that's because the book *is* anti-socialized/nationalized medicine. The first (teaser) page has as its headline: "President announces medical care free to rich and poor alike!" - in this book, that's the terrifying Orwellian future. Because we all know that real doctors are all driven by "ideals" (see cover), unlike nameless bureaucrats who want only to flatten all social distinctions and erect statues of Lenin.

Page 123~

"I shouldn't be saying this, I suppose, but you look like a better class of man than we usually get in a job like this, and I hope you're going to stay with us."

He added, "I mean, I'm not gay or anything, but dear god you're handsome."

~RP

Aaauuuggghhhh! Run!!!

OMG!! If THAT is what's coming to me, I'm not waiting until it arrives!! It's a giant, levitating, half-headed baby! Run for your lives!!

I honestly can't tell what they were thinking. The book is a comedic novel, according to amazon, and takes place at a Southern university. Ok, that explains the buildings. But what's so funny about a ginormous, angry-looking baby without clothes?

Being an avowed non-mom, I would never, ever pick up this book. I'm curious about the rest of you, especially the moms. Does this attract or repel you?