Phallic Phriday Just Under the Wire

I've got four minutes left of Phallic Phriday, but I can't disappoint my adoring fans. [pause for applause]

Ahem. Thank you. Thank you ver' much.

Ladies and Gentlebeings, I present to you, drumroll please, CRYSTAL WOMAN!

Here's a closeup, just so you can share my pain.

My favorite part of this cover (and this was a hard decision, let me tell ya!) is the fact that it looks exactly like something an angsty, kinda arty twelve-year old girl would draw. In fact, add a unicorn and some really bad eighties "fashion" and it'd look exactly like something I would have drawn after school in my best friend's basement. After a meal of chocolate sandwiches. And this was BEFORE I became a pothead.
I hope you've enjoyed this edition of Phallic Phriday. On to scintillating Saturday!


DocTurtle said...

The first thing that comes to mind upon seeing this cover? There's a billboard just outside of Hendersonville, NC for the local Bon Worth outlet store that features a woman lying languorously and comehitheringly (if that ain't a word, it oughta be) on one side while rocking what looks like a fuck-me red pantsuit with matching lipstick and a peroxide-blonde head of hair that would have made a '70s country/western singer blush with shame.

And this is supposed to make people want to shop there?

Michael Croft said...

This cover needs to be cornified.


That would make it better.

Anonymous said...

I just discovered this whole world, despite having done over 200 hopefully not-that-bad covers. In my case, it was the fact that all 8 billion Star Trek novels have recently been put into Kindle, with mostly their original covers.

I can't believe this particular one. It too has a disembodied head, menacing the female figure.


Pete said...

Not just a phallus, but a phallus jabbed right between the eyes. Which isn't good for anyone involved.

Sexy Sadie said...

Is that a Barbie standing in front of a condom?

BikerPuppy said...

The hair makes me think it's an 80s era Dee Snyder (Twisted Sister). Yikes! Not just phallic, but homoerotic.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, chocolate sandwiches??

Kaylia Metcalfe said...

Oh wow....

Hurry Princess... the tower needs you!