Burnsie's Least Favorite Book

This is Burnsie:

(Please note the dreidel chew toy, made by Chewish Toys. I love it!)

This is Burnsie's least favorite book:

How do I know this is Burnsie's least favorite book? Because a couple of weeks ago I brought this book home from the library, and he proceeded to tear off the cover and chew it into little tiny pieces. Now I know I've wanted to do this to some books, but I have fortunately been able to restrain myself.

I actually don't think this cover is all that bad, aside from the stick insect masquerading as a human. Why, oh why, do publishers think that women who read chicklit are going to be attracted to covers with women on them who would be 10 feet tall and weigh 50 pounds in real life? Why are women who read chicklit attracted by these covers? Questions I can't answer.

It does seem, however, the Burnsie has better taste than I do. This book was terrible. Its plot includes a crack assassin squad of nuns and others who are employed by the Vatican to kill, quite ruthlessly and bloodily, innocent covens of white witches. I'm no Catholic (although I'm catholic in my tastes), but I found this offensive. And now I own it sans cover (I had to buy a new copy for the library). Thanks, Burnsie! No Milkbone for you.

Tall, Dark, and Dead

Update: Phoebe complained that she wanted her picture on the blog. She's a good girl and doesn't eat books, but she couldn't stand to let Burnsie have all the limelight to himself.


Toonhead said...

I love dog pictures. My Loki does not have a taste for books but a few of my foster dogs have chewed a book or two. My cockatiel, Salvador, loves to perch on a book and chew off a little bit of the pages. He has become quite adept at moving his toes when I need to turn a page.

Anonymous said...

Cats you don't have to worry about chewing up the books--just occasionally peeing on them. Cats absorb books by lying on them, not eating them, and add their own commentary (wizz, wizz) as needed.

Anonymous said...

First of all, I adore the dogs. You could possibly create an entire website featuring "action" photos of these pups, with minor commentary, and I'd check it out.

Also, I really wonder where authors of crappy books (barring the entirely different discussion as to how such things get published in the first place) obtain cover blurbs like "An enthralling read from beginning to end." In fact, I'm so befuddled, I can't think of some snarky additional commentary. Something about bleeding eyeballs, maybe.

Snow said...

The woman on the cover is truly hideous and brings entirely new meaning to the term "bubble-butt."

Anonymous said...

This was a truly awful book. Your dog was right. Too bad you had to buy a new one, though.

Your blog is a hoot.

Kaitlyn said...

None of my dogs have ever ripped a book up, though my cousin's dog Choc(taw) destroyed my copy of Harriet the Spy in 2000, I think.

I never got another copy.

I went outside to play with the dogs and left the book on the back porch. Possibly on a table, but Choc was big enough to get his paws on things up there, I'm sure.

Came back, ruined book.

Wickett will sit on the newspaper if I have the audacity to read it on the floor. (I do, a lot, just so he'll sit on it.)

Sometimes Mikey sits on it, but he and Dixie usually just walk over it.

Mikey is extremely possessive of everything, whether it's his or not. (Poodle mix, got bounced from family to family the first year of his life.)

I am his toy and his enemy and the provider of dog bones, popcorn, and white bread from time to time.

Once, I was laying on the couch on my stomach, and I put the book on the floor for whatever reason, and when I tried to pick it up, he was mad! He's bit my (and the library's) books, but never done any damage, though he thinks he did.

Your dogs are so cute, and have great literary taste.

Oh, and do Tall and Dark refer to stickchick or a guy?