More Phucked Up than Phallic

Okay, this is kinda phallic, so it's appropriate for posting on Phallic Phriday. But that is the only way in which it is appropriate.

Let me allow Alissa, who submitted the cover to judgeabook@yahoo.com, to set it up for you:

My day job actually involves getting librarians to judge books by covers as I sell books, but bring only a stack of book covers with me. Imagine my surprise when I was sorting this month's covers and came across the book Dead Pet by Andrew Kirk. My first thought that it must be some sort of sick joke book, but this is not a humor book, but a book meant to give tips on a dignified send-off for a deceased pet. The cover, therefore, is completely baffling.
Hmmmm, dignified send-off, eh? Let's take a look at this cover!

Yeaaaaaaaaah. That's as dignified as heckling the president. Maybe more so?


Anonymous said...

Ummmm...I think that's supposed to be the cover for "101 Uses For A Dead Cat."

Yeah...gotta be...

-- Feral Boy

Murphy Jacobs said...

That's so completely wrong! Did the art director HATE the book? Maybe the author pissed the art director off?

Rex Parker said...

Xs for eyes = brilliant touch.

Anonymous said...

Whatever idiot decided on this cover art needs to be fired. I bet the author crapped when he found out what the cover looked like.

Anonymous said...

Kind of phallic? Did you not notice the gravestones on either side? :-D

shushie said...

What?! I can't even believe that is a serious book for those grieving their pet! I also think that there are probably some laws about the proper disposal of a deceased pet that do not include blowing it up into space.
Maybe the book's author and art director were ex-lovers with a bad break-up.

JamiSings said...

I would very much like to find the "artist" and the "publisher" whom thought this was in good taste and shove a bottle rocket up their butt.

After 16 years of uncondictional love, joy, frustration, and the occastional mess on the floor, my beloved Lady Audrey Rose had two strokes one horrible morning in February and had to be put to sleep. I still cry hard when I think of her. I miss her viciously every single day. Even though I am actively looking at rescue shelters for a dog because I cannot live dogless, I also know I could never replace her.

So as someone who's recently lost a pet - plus lost a dog in the past - and as someone whom loves her pets so much she's even mourned the death of pet fish (mostly betas) - I am SO HUGELY offended by this tasteless cover.

Seriously, someone give me that "artist's" name and address. By the time I'm done with them they'll wish they had never been born. Then the publisher whom approved that is next!

Bybee said...

The cover is messed up, it's true, but the title and subtitle aren't that great, either.

Nicole "Gidget" Kalstein said...

GAHHHH!!!! Phallic gravestones. Phallic rocket. Phallic tail hanging down between cat's legs. They're everywhere!

This cover is downright horrifying! What kind of sick person...?! Just when I think mankind isn't totally jacked up, I find crap like this. Jeez.

BikerPuppy said...

Below is info from Amazon. I wonder if this author would really be that upset by the cover. Read all the way through:

Planning a sensitive send-off for your dear, dead Fluffy, Fido, or Flipper is one small way of assuaging the inner hurt and sending him or her gently into that good night. This book guides you through this most difficult life experience—from the moment you realize that your pet’s days are numbered (or have passed), right through to the sticky details of deciding between an old-fashioned interment or a spectacular cremation. Covering every aspect of established pet funereal practice for every type of pet, Dead Pet is the essential manual of practical techniques to ensuring that the deceased is dispatched with both dignity and haste.

* Preparing for the End—and making sure the End’s really come

* Custom coffin templates for pets of all shapes and sizes
* Heart-rending readings to accompany the send-off

* Burials on land, at sea, and in the sky

* Séances and Internet memorials

* What to do with your pet’s worldly goods

About the Author

Andrew Kirk, who became a pet embalmer after the tragically premature death of his Chihuahua, Lucky, is also the author of the do-it-yourself taxidermy manual Get Stuffed.

Anonymous said...

"About the Author

"Andrew Kirk, who became a pet embalmer after the tragically premature death of his Chihuahua, Lucky, is also the author of the do-it-yourself taxidermy manual, 'Get Stuffed.'"

You know, this sounds like a guy who would plug his FIRST book in one of the chapters of his SECOND.

Feral Boy

Sexy Sadie said...

This cover reminds me of an episode of Malcolm in the Middle where the boys basically did to a dead frog what's being done to that cat. As Mrs. Slocombe of Are You Being Served? would say, "How can anyone do that to a cat?"

-José Antónimo- said...

I don't see phallic references everywhere, so that doesn't bother me, but... poor cat!

Anonymous said...

Actually, it is supposed to be a funny book. It's listed as "humor" under amazon. Also a taxidermy book called "Get Stuffed"? This is called a joke, people.