This cover makes me tired. Is there really a building in existence with this many stairs?? I would pass out and die bringing home groceries (imagine lugging a gallon of milk and a 12 pack of soda up this staircase!). In fact, I'd probably stay at a hotel most nights to avoid the stairs. Well, actually, recognizing my own limitations (read: laziness), I'd NEVER get an apartment in such a building. It reminds me of the staircase in the apartment in Glasgow that the characters of Shallow Grave shared.
You can sort of see it in the bottom half of this movie poster.
But that was only probably 3 floors. This looks like 15 or so.
Also, does it seem to anyone else that the "Mary Jane Clark" font is strikingly similar to the font used for Mary Higgins Clark's books? Such as:
Reason #5: Cucumber Eyes
Reason #4: Floating red monks with penis caps
Reason #3: Books we've seen before with even more frightening covers!
Reason #2: Women peeling off their breasts and finding...um...other breasts underneath!
And phinally, Reason #1: NO PHALLUS PHOR PHALLIC PHRIDAY!!!!
Finally! A book cover admits it all! The gun really isn't a gun, it's ... um ... his "gun"....
Ok, ok, I'm cheating. This is actually from a collection of spoof book covers at http://www.examiner.com/x-562-Book-Examiner~y2009m5d19-Top-20-funniest-spoof-book-covers.
Quite hilarious. This one and Horton Hires a Ho really cracked me up.
Putting aside the big phallicy things in the background (Devil's Tower, a twister, AND broken penis towers? Overkill!), and the super-cheesy superhero getup, I have one question for you, dear Judge a Book readers, my only friends, my dear ones...
Are those nipples???
...Dum dee dum dee GAAAAAAH!
In 1949 the great psychologist and evolutionary biologist Konrad Lorenz speculated that human nurturing instincts are triggered by infantile features, including heads that are large in proportion to the body, but COME ON, there's something to be said about too much of a good thing. Methinks Word Bird (the blue one on the right) must have one helluva chronic neck ache. That's an acre or two of prime real estate up top. And the duck ain't doin' so well herself.
A more recent edition of this classic has reduced our heroes' heads to a more manageable size:
Sadly it's also done away with the whimsical '70s font and border stylage that made the original cover so much more friendly and inviting. The new one, while assuaging my worry over Word Bird's chiropractic bill, seems cold and clinical in comparison with its older version. Or maybe I'm just instinctively drawn by Word Bird's ginormous noggin.
Welcome to "Pop Sensation"'s "PAPERBACK 250 CONTEST"
[see Contest Rules, below]
Paperback 250: Bantam 718 (1st ptg, 1949)
Title: Death Warmed Over
Author: Mary Collins
Cover artist: Gilbert Fullington
- Best comment or caption in 140 characters (or fewer) wins not only this book, but Paperbacks 251 and 252 as well.
- Contest will run from now until 8 a.m. EDT, Friday, July 3, 2009.
- One entry per contestant, please.
- Contestants are encouraged to submit entries as Tweets on Twitter (@rexparker), but emails to rexparker [at] mac [dot] com will also be accepted (please send any questions about contest to that email address as well).
- Keep in mind that a "character" is any single letter, punctuation mark, or blank space. Concision is your friend. But feel free to get creative with the abbreviations.
- Comments will be disabled for the duration of the contest.
- Winner and first and second runners-up will be announced by noon Friday, at which time the best entries (and possibly all entries, depending on how many there are) will be posted for all to see.
Your Panel of Judges:
- Maughta, creator of the fabulous blog for book cover lovers/haters, "Judge a Book By Its Cover"
- Michael 5000, creator of the fabulous blog for the dork lifestyle, "The Life and Times of Michael 5000"
- Grand Prize: Paperbacks 250, 251, and 252
- 1st Runner-up: two cool but very beat-up paperbacks from outside my official collection + 1 copy of the recent comic "Barack the Barbarian"
- 2nd Runner-up: one cool but very beat-up paperback from outside my official collection + 1 copy of the recent comic "Barack the Barbarian"
Best of luck, and tell a friend...
[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]