4.25.2007

I can't help myself...

I just can't stop snarking on devotional fiction. Seriously, check this out:

Wow, is that bad. First of all, there are wa-a-a-a-a-ay too many elements to this cover. It reminds me of Longarm. And not in a good way! I do like that Hezekiah and evil fat guy (we know he's evil 'cause he's fat. And he drinks. And he looks meeeeeeean) apparently shop at the same store. Their muu-muus only vary in color. Why is there so much going on in the lower half of the cover, and almost nothing (aside from Hezzie's freakishly big head) going on up top? This cover is weirdly unbalanced. Guess they wanted to save room for LORD.

I also note that the small print mentions that Hezzie is surrounded by intolerance, treachery, and infidelity to Yahweh. Correct me if I'm wrong, but pronouncing the tetragrammaton (yod heh vav heh, YHWH), the name of Gd, would have gotten you center-stage at your own stoning, right? Talk about infidelity!

I do have to give props to Lynn for not making Hezzie blonde and blue-eyed. Good going, Lynn. One thing on your cover doesn't suck.

Lord is my Strength

11 comments:

Abe Wonderful said...

Actually, I think you're wrong about the stoning thing. There isn't a commandment against saying the Lord's name. Just against using the Lord's name in vain. I think it was strongly looked down on, but not an offense that required stoning.

Besides, this is a Christian book, right? It's like the reverse of Jews, you get another jewel in your crown in heaven each time you say a variation of God's name. Perhaps you're familiar with Praise & Worship music?

Bill said...

Devotional fiction just makes it too easy to apply the snark. Check out this cover from "Abigail's Story," this line's "Women of the Bible" series.

http://www.amazon.com/Abigails-Story-Novel-Women-Bible/dp/045121479X

Bill said...

Hmmm, let's try it again and put the title inside a link shall we?

Snow said...

I'm sure there's a devotional reason for the placement of the woman's head in the lower right corner.

Kiwi said...

"I'm sure there's a devotional reason for the placement of the woman's head in the lower right corner."

Even prophets of God need some lovin'.

Heidi said...

The 2nd best thing about this post is the actual book reviews about it on Amazon's site. Who the hell reads this stuff?

Sandra said...

Um, apparently the Lord is also My Jheri-Curl Technician. Jesus. I mean... oh, shit.

Mooselet said...

Why is there a twisty... thing-y... trailing from our hero's hand down to the temple steps? It's very odd.

p dog said...

I walked past a
>Janette Oke title
today, and something about the woman's head obscuring one word and the whip connecting to the R, I absolutely thought it was called "A Quiet Stench".

alkibiades said...

pdog: "A Quiet Stench"

Hilarious!!! Is that the prairie version of "SBD"?

Frying Tiger said...

Isn't the tiny dude Edward G. Robinson from "The Ten Commandments"?

"ehh, you's guys gonna make some bricks without straw, see? ehhh.."