Howdy, and Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate this particular solstice holiday!
I thought I'd get on-line this morning and put together a special Christmas Edition of JaBBiC, including elements both sacred and secular, but in any case nutty as hell: bad (or simply wacky) book cover art respects no religion more than any other, and it wasn't hard to find a few gems. I have to admit that in a couple of these cases, the titles are funnier than the covers.
Let's start off with a children's book whose double-entendre title suggests the book's theme:
I don't suppose the task demanded of us will be that hard if on every page, as on the cover here, there's a shaft of heavenly light pointing the way to our hidden friend. Too many Galileans crowding around him here to tell if he's pulling his walking-on-water schtick here, but he does appear a foot taller than anyone else around. Not to mention pale as a ghost; Werner Sallman's Jesus looks downright swarthy by comparison. In fact, this is the whitest bunch of Palestinians I've ever seen.
Incidentally, the other books in the series are Can you find Bible heroes? and Can you find followers of Jesus? (no, I'm not kidding).
So then, turning to the secular side of Christmas:
Ah, the joys of self-publishing!
I have no idea what the deal is with this book aside from the fact that its author is a graphic designer from Alabama who seems to have some kind of a sweetheart deal with Santa Bruce, RBS (Real Bearded Santa...I wonder if you have to go to school for that degree? Bruce does indeed claim on his website to have a degree from the International University of Santa Claus, but there's no scan of his diploma, so on that point we'll have to take his word), an Atlanta-area professional Santa Claus.
Regarding the cover, though: Santa appears to be in need of some high-fiber muesli. I'd hate to be the naughty child whose home he's visiting in that cover image. Keep those hands where we can see 'em, Santa.
Next, we've got a book whose cover is pleasant enough, but which book itself we can file under 'T' for "They really wrote that?!":
Apparently Wycliffe Bible translators secured the work of linguist Joseph Grimes, who toiled for 12 years to put together this translation of the New Testament into Hawai'i Pidgin. Need a reason? Check out the Pidgin Bible's homepage to learn more about the effort, and to read excerpts from the translation.
And, going from the odd to the merely creepy, I'll close with the back cover of Santa's secret: a story of hope, the real story of Secret Santa USA:
"...He fell to his knees and shouted jubilantly, 'yes! I finally have the cash to buy this book!'..."
Meanwhile, the man with the suitcase is chagrined that the outsized angel has once again managed to track him down. He thought he'd lost him outside of Poughkeepsie.
Happy Holidays, one and all, whether your holiday came a few days back (Winter Solstice or Hanukkah) or has yet to begin (Kwanzaa), or whether you're smack dab in the middle of it now (Christmas).