I'm ba-a-a-a-ack! Yes, I finally escaped from the basement dungeon of Baen, where they evil overlords had locked me up for daring to make fun of their covers. My escape included a stick of gum, an easily tricked lackey, and a MacGyveresque device. Let the reader beware, lest it happens to you! From my dingy cell I could hear the scritchings of the Baen artists (chained to their dungeon desks) while their commander strode amongst them, cracking his whip and crying, "More breasts!" "Bigger!" "More explosions!" For the books in today's post, he must have been shouting, "MORE LASERS!!!!"
Giant robot chipmunks battle it out on Endor surrounded by, yes, lasers. Whosoever is shooting these lasers is a REALLY BAD SHOT! Of course, you probably can't kill your main character on your cover, where will you go from there?
What does this cover lack? You guessed it, Yellow Eyes. Or eyes of any kind. The robot chipmunks must use echolocation.
"Two lasers...coming out of my hands...Mom must be soooo proud!"
Yes, just what I want to see my heroes do: run away from the beast! I bet this makes fascinating storytelling...
The beast attacked! John activated his dual duelling laser Vorpal Blades, than TURNED TAIL AND RAN! The beast had NO IDEA what to do! This had never happened in a SF book before!
...and then the author ran out of exclamation points.
Huh huh! My laser's bigger than everyone else's laser! I win!
I wonder, is the lizard's brain splattered all over the spine of this book? I consider it a letdown if it isn't.
Au contraire, mon Baen frere. I have waaaaay MORE lasers than you. I win!
Green and blue and purple and yellow lasers...Is there anything this cover lacks? Oh, yeah, perspective. And taste.