12.02.2009

Night of 1000 Baby Names

Wednesday Redux! Enjoy this post from long ago. It's terrorific!





But enough about me...



CAUTION: If you are especially easily frightened or have nightmares don't, whatever you do, look at the following book! You've been warned.



Anyway, faithful page Jeremy brought in the bookdrop today, and this book was on top (sorry for the fuzziness, but the original image is so horrific you'll actually be glad not to get the full impact):



SWEET FANCY MOSES! 1000s of staring zombie babies. Lock the doors, don't turn out the lights, but please, STOP STARING AT ME!!!

I'm gonna be awake all night. Who's this desperate to figure out what to name their kid, anyway? We all know it'll just be named Madison or Makayla or Matthew.

9 comments:

Josh said...

It occurred to me the other day that when I'm 85 years old, the president of the United States is probably going to be some whippersnapper born in the '00s and named "Connor" or "Madison" or "McKenzie." It kind of depressed me.

syro0 said...

two linked circles, in a family tree, or otherwise, signify marriage.
what on earth, then, do three linked circles, as in "the classic 1000 baby names" 1000 imply?
you could of course say they had no space for writing three full 0s without sacrificing some of the repetitive impact of the little monster faces.

i also wanted to comment on a quick search i did over at amazon to compare the relatively meager 1000 names to the real deal[20.001; 30.000, anyone?], but this is getting me somewhere i honestly don't want to spend any more time than i already have.

eChuckler said...

Ha! See, if you name a kid one of those 1000 baby names, they'll become zombies. It's more of a guide of what NOT to name your kid, or so they'd have you believe. That's why we're getting the yuppy (which is a nice word for "druggie who lives in the good suburbs," isn't it?) names now. Because of marketing ploys like this, threatening that you're child won't become a zombie. And while you don't THINK the baby will become a zombie if you name it George, well, is that a risk you really want to take?

DocTurtle said...

What always gets my cheese are the "creative" misspellings of classic names. Why can't these yuppie schmucks (well-pegged, echuckler) be content with "Roger"? No, it's gotta be "Rahjerre." "Jessica" is now "Jesikkah," "Katie" is now "Kaytee" (accent aigue on the first 'e'), and, a la MST3K, "Tom" is now "Htom." Pretty soon we're going to see such butchery of now-trendy godawful names like "MacKenzie": before long it'll be "MicCennzzee." At least she'll be a shoe-in for Secretary of State.

Snow said...

BRAINS!!!!!!!

BikerPuppy said...

DocTurtle, I don't think that's a trend toward "creative" spelling. I think it's a trend toward stupidity (anyone see Idiocracy?) that results in people having no clue how to spell anything.

Anthrophile said...

"Sweet Fancy Moses" might be the best expletive I've heard all year.

Frank said...

I can't wait until MacKenzies and Madisons have kids. They'll all be Ethels and Myrtles.

RichterCa said...

Oh, god! When I scroll, the title box moves up and down, but the faces don't move! They stay perfectly still, and they stare into my soul!