11.18.2009

What are you trying to protect against?


Yikes! This has to be the most frighteningly overdrawn "armor" I've ever seen. It's like the artist couldn't stop adding to it once he or she got going. For starters, unless this is some sort of powered armor (it moves itself) or is made of aluminum foil, I doubt she's going anywhere. As it is, she's forced to stand with her feet almost painfully far apart! But maybe that's just to let her tail show? Or are those swords hanging from her back? It seems to me there's no way she can reach them if they are. I suspect she can't reach the guns on her legs either.

Are those dinosaurs on her shoulders? I suppose we all could use extra "allies" if we need them, but I'd hate to have carnivorous monsters attached so close to my head. Imagine the breath you'd smell when the wind was from the right direction....

And what is with the raised bubble? Maybe it can lower to cover her head, but if it did, she'd look like a mon calamari!



And to top it all off, she's wearing jewelry! Looks like she just got back from Mardi Gras.

17 comments:

Christy Pinheiro, EA ABA said...

You're right.. this cover is terrible. That helmet is just hilarious.

Frank said...

"Our cruisers can't repel cover-cheesiness of that magnitude!"

Lyndee said...

Yeah, there is way too much crap on that person.

Anonymous said...

I was too curious, I had to go look it up. It's amazing. And scary. (I think the stuff around her neck is her hair, though. In braids.)

BikerPuppy said...

Anon -- you're right!! Thanks for the blown up pic! (BTW, can you teach me how to embed a link in text like you did??) I think that makes it worse than jewelry! It's like when football players have long hair -- it's begging be be yanked during a tackle. Here, she can be captured by her braids alone!!

The Revolutionary said...

Actually, that's how much armor I usually wear when I visit New York.

Pickpocket me once, shame on you. Pickpocket me twice, shame on me.

M. Bouffant said...

BP: How to link good.

BikerPuppy said...

Thanks MB!!!

Maughta said...

Quite a package she's got, too. Are you sure this isn't Phallic Phriday?!

D-Burns said...

It's like the Flash Gordon legion of Space Marines. At least those pauldrons look a bit reasonable.

(that's warhammer 40k stuff)

Rex Parker said...

This reminds me of the (ugh) winning collection on "Project Runway."

Cliff said...

Hey, io9 is stealing your gig:
.
http://io9.com/5409616/cheesiest-and-most-inappropriate-book-covers-of-all-time

Maughta said...

I don't mind if io9 steal my schtick. They linked to me once and I got a ton of readers from them. Plus now I have a whole database of covers for snark!

xenobiologista said...

Nonono it's what McCaffrey and her buddies wrote after watching Mobile Suit Gundam.

A Library Girl said...

I haven't read the book, so I don't know if it really contains armor like this. I suspect that the artist figured that, since it's a spacesuit (what I assume it is), the woman doesn't really need good mobility. One thing I was wondering, though - if those things at her neck are her braids, and she's wearing a spacesuit, how exactly is she protecting herself and her airsupply from the effects of space?

RThomas said...

It's a Trap!

heidi said...

Pretty sure she's the new football thingy for FOX sports... no, wait, they only support men being badass... whoops!