Boooooooooooooooorn Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, as free as the dolphin between my leeeeeeeeeeeegs!
Once upon a time, when DocTurtle and I were first gettin' to know one another, we were on the phone when he said, "Excuse me, I have to go drain my pasta." As previously mentioned, I seem to have the mind of a thirteen year old boy residing somewhere in the back of my head, so I thought for sure he was telling me he had to go pee. Or, well, that he was very excited and had to go relieve the pressure, if you know what I mean (and I think you do!).
So what's your favorite euphemism for masturbating? Is it "spanking the monkey"?
And finally, Legolas here seems to have, er, grown a bit...
Is that a sword in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?
I wish I could have found a larger picture for this because then you could see that, on the right, is a naked woman with her back to us. Her mouth is, well, "appropriately placed", I guess you could say, to appreciate Legolas's sword, if you know what I mean (and I KNOW you do!).