5.17.2010

Happy Mammary Monday

Happy Mammary Monday! Although if you're like me, you'll feel like we somehow went from Thursday to Monday, without a weekend. Whoever said Time is a constant is/was on crack. But it's definitely Monday again, and I thought I'd present a book that can be informative, amusing, and useful!
Some of us (I include myself) would never, ever be interested in making our breasts any larger than they are. In fact, if the book promised to help shrink them to a size where I could buy cute lacy bras instead of hammocks big enough for a honeymooning couple to string up between two palm trees on the beach, I would be first in line to buy. So, for those of you who would for some reason like to increase the weight you carry around your neck and across your back muscles, this may be the book for you! I'm a little puzzled, though, about what exactly we're seeing on the cover. I see the boobs, surrounded by a black swimsuit, but is that a chubby arm on the near side, and another on the far side? Or some other body part?

Then, for those of you who would like to improve other parts of your female anatomy, here's another potentially useful book. Not only can you color in the pictures, but you can learn new hairstyles for your vajayjay. My favorite comment on Amazon.com: "The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas isn't just a coloring book. It's inspiration. When first presented with this, I strummed through it thinking it was a joke. But I soon realized that this is a guidebook for redecorating your vagina, especially if it's been around awhile and you feel like you've run out of new ways to dress it up. I put aside the crayons, except to use to draw in accessories like scarves and snoods, in favor of spray glitter, various stick-on mustaches, mini-flower and seed arrangements. (I didn't like the seeds -- too elementary school, hence, creepy. You don't want a bean and seed turkey down there, believe me!) My current favorite is stick-on beadwork in an ornate Tiffany-esque peacock design. (Tip: surprise your ob/gyn with a beadwork speculum! He'll flip!) Also, if it's your bridal day, try a delicate self-adhesive Velcro surprise for your honeymoon. Your partner will never forget it!"

12 comments:

Em said...

No woman should ever let their boyfriend see this coloring book. I already want to put a hit out for Jennifer Love Hewitt and that vajazzled nonsense.

shushie said...

Love that Amazon comment. Jon Stewart's "Naked Pictures of Famous People" has an excellent complimentary piece about Martha Stewart trying to spruce up a poorly decorated vagina.

caite said...

I am happy to see you can get the companion book, The Big Coloring Book of Cocks. It does not seem as popular though.

cat5 extender said...

The first photo was great but the second one was a bit hilarious.LOL.

rankpay said...

Oh the second photo-the coloring book was shocking.

dance lessons in Orange county said...

LOL.The amazon comment was so funny,Martha Stewart is just so sophisticated woman.https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=2055640445288546798&postID=6465610416605000269

Wrong Island Surf said...

Though the books had funny names or cover,I would still like to read it.

unlock blackberry said...

The books were just simply amazing.Nice one!

Springfield Carriage Company said...

I find the books worth reading though, something you can spend time on.

Dave F. said...

Usually, I don't stop and just stare at the screen but the Big Coloring Book of Vaginas stopped me speechless and I am never speechless.

-Kaitlin Elizabeth said...

Wow...Just wow. I was curious so I checked into this on Amazon, and my search rendered a "cock" version0_o

Anonymous said...

That black swimsuit has no back, just tie strings. You're seeing her oh so sexy side fat.