Let's start with this one, submitted by faithful reader Marla (who notes, "check out the size of his pinecones!"):
Nope, nothing says "creative cover design" like a stock photo of a couple of regency reenactors listlessly hanging out on the back stoop like they're on coffee break. The photo could almost be a still out one of the most disappointing movies Maughta and I ever watched, a 1982 BBC mini-series adaptation of Anthony Trollope's wonderful The Warden and Barchester Towers. How could one go wrong, you might ask, when you start with such a subtle and sophisticated base text and make the positively brilliant move of casting Alan Rickman as Obadiah Slope?
Oh, I'll tell you. The adaptation is weak, the acting is flat, the directing is non-existent...and the damned thing is done on video. Video! Because by 1982 film was just passé. Just because the medium is new and exciting, folks, doesn't mean you gotta use it.
Let's cleanse our palates with this gem from faithful reader Lindz, Jilly Cooper's "classic bestseller," Riders:
As Maughta said to me moments ago, "it's Tushy Tuesday!" I prefer "Tuesday is for Tuckuses," myself.
Riders is the first (and, according to Fantastic Fiction, the "steamiest") of the Rutshire Chronicles. Not a fan of subtlety, our Ms. Cooper. A quick search of her other works reveals a passel of non-fiction titles on romance, love, and seduction, such as Jolly Marsupial: Down Under and Other Scenes:
This is the book that spawned the most popular buddy cop show in Australian television history.
Then there's Jolly Super:
Sorry for the tiny image, it was the best I could find (does anyone out there have a better one they could upload?). Nevertheless, the resolution's good enough for us to know this'd make a great addition to Phallic Phriday.
Ah, me.
That's all for now, but we hope you'll leave us a snarky note or two in the comments section, and keep your hands where we can see 'em.
5 comments:
Oh dear! the first one is the less bad of all given that it wasn't intentional but, the other ones, oh uh, hilariously horrendous!
Rutshire?!?! Seriously?
I shall write a regency romance, and the male rogue/rascal shall be known as Roger Rutshire. (Rut-sure)
To give it some class, I shall employ adult film stars in period clothing, to avoid dull covers like the one above.
Perhaps it will take place in New Zealand, a headstrong daughter along with her noble father on a scientific expedition. Maori chiefs (bad boys with sharp knives and moko tattoos on their faces), a few moas for scenery, and a very steamy love scene in the hot springs of Rotarura.
So, on Riders...
Does that butt belong to a white mannequin, or a tail-less horse?
Because either way, it's gonna give me nightmares.
I can't imagine a less romantic/sexy shot than the picture on the front of the first cover...*yawn*.
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