tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post7167853695017219002..comments2023-12-28T04:41:50.326-05:00Comments on Judge a Book by its Cover: Kmart tripMiss Maggiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05075664250796458409noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-77942515151208465372007-10-16T20:25:00.000-04:002007-10-16T20:25:00.000-04:00Oh my god, it's like we're spiralling down into so...Oh my god, it's like we're spiralling down into some awful pit of book suckiness -- except THERE IS NO BOTTOM.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-75315532761338014332007-05-22T04:05:00.000-04:002007-05-22T04:05:00.000-04:00Oh lay off the Harlequin/Silhouette/Mills and Boon...Oh lay off the Harlequin/Silhouette/Mills and Boon covers. That's too easy! They're cheap and churned out by a big ole factory. You gotta find some REALLY bad covers from books with covers someone actually thinks about what they're putting on there.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-63684919633800363312007-05-15T13:25:00.000-04:002007-05-15T13:25:00.000-04:00You think that's a feminazi?I could stab her to de...You think that's a feminazi?<BR/>I could stab her to death with my hair. :lol:<BR/><BR/>You know, when I was at college I would go to Borders with a notepad and write down the funniest new Harlequin titles to send to my sisters in a list compiled to increase their humor value, such as putting all the ones with "baby" in the title together. <BR/><BR/>My favorites were the ones featuring names of nationalities and depicting guys obviously not belonging to those nationalities, e.g. "In the Spaniard's Bed" and "The Italian Count's Secret Lover."Shalenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06153792149159676633noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-4883192416096130032007-05-12T04:50:00.000-04:002007-05-12T04:50:00.000-04:00Just recently read on the innert00bz of a woman co...Just recently read on the innert00bz of a woman complaining about men who considered breasts to be "speed bumps" on the road to, well, "intercourse."M. Bouffanthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04519088858760760560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-85479419204048786162007-05-11T19:51:00.000-04:002007-05-11T19:51:00.000-04:00Is this the same baby who is blogging here about h...Is this the same baby who is blogging <A HREF="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=180632" REL="nofollow">here</A> about his problems?Peter Hohhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06916196998855947137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-44955629424469677662007-05-10T23:17:00.000-04:002007-05-10T23:17:00.000-04:00What a collection. Each Amazon page features a su...What a collection. Each Amazon page features a surprisingly long (but not surprisingly dull) excerpt from its book. Who knew? Not me, anyway. By any indication, anyway, these books are freaking BORING.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-83053737032659033562007-05-10T16:06:00.000-04:002007-05-10T16:06:00.000-04:00One Man's Family is creepy because that's the fake...<I>One Man's Family</I> is creepy because that's the <I>fakest</I>-looking family I've <I>ever</I> seen. Jesus, the Cleavers look more realistic than this clan (or do I mean "klan"?). Little Jimmy and Little Susie join Mom and soon-to-be-Dad (or maybe it's Dad and soon-to-be-Mom? Damn it, why am I thinking this hard about it?!!?) as they engage in good, clean, white antics in the cozy confines of their 2500-square-foot, split-level ranch in exurbia.<BR/><BR/>The camera's put away before chaos ensues:<BR/><BR/>"Try this sauce, Jimmy."<BR/><BR/>"No."<BR/><BR/>"Try it!"<BR/><BR/>"<B>No!</B>"<BR/><BR/>"Now, Jimmy, David's just tryin'..."<BR/><BR/>"Lemme handle this, Martha. Goddamn it, kid..."<BR/><BR/>"<B>Make me!</B> You're not my real dad, anyway!"<BR/><BR/>"The hell I'm not, you useless little..."<BR/><BR/>"Dave, is there something...?"<BR/><BR/>"Mommy said she was whorin' around all the time! She said I was yer brother's!"<BR/><BR/>"Oh my..."<BR/><BR/>"It's a lie, Martha! The little brat's a lying sack of shit!"<BR/><BR/>"Waaaaaaaaa!"<BR/><BR/>"Susie!"<BR/><BR/><I>Et cetera</I>...DocTurtlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15154912977859107986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-6507004967093828872007-05-10T15:13:00.000-04:002007-05-10T15:13:00.000-04:00One Man's Family - for one thing, both kids are ga...One Man's Family - <BR/>for one thing, both kids are gazing at something more interesting beyond the fake kitchen set while mom is incredulously staring at dad, probably muttering "you sure you've done that before" under her forced smile, while he's about to extricate sonny's milk-tooth (or tongue) with chopsticks. need any more reasons for creepiness?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-68665888250777118692007-05-10T14:36:00.000-04:002007-05-10T14:36:00.000-04:00One Man's Family is creepy. I can't pinpoint exac...One Man's Family is creepy. I can't pinpoint exactly why, though. Help me, loyal readers.<BR/><BR/>Syro0, she's totally going to thwack him with the cup if feels her up again.<BR/><BR/>The cowboy baby-daddy is strangely proportioned. He really should hitch those pants up a bit. It almost looks like he's pregnant, too.Snowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06039997156492900954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-47128282485682232802007-05-09T23:52:00.000-04:002007-05-09T23:52:00.000-04:00What happened to the old painted covers with Fabio...What happened to the old painted covers with Fabio? At least they evoked... something.<BR/><BR/>These photo covers make my teeth hurt.<BR/><BR/>>>>" except THERE IS NO BOTTOM. Egad."<BR/><BR/>There is a bottom. It's called "Dianetics".Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-28201039723515824432007-05-09T19:04:00.000-04:002007-05-09T19:04:00.000-04:00@ Speed BumpsThe longer I look at the cover, the l...@ Speed Bumps<BR/>The longer I look at the cover, the less I can help the feeling that it's either HIM thinking "I hope she's not gonna hit me with that trophy" or HER thinking "I'm so gonna hit him with that trophy."<BR/>You probably have a plot there, too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-11958534937233899162007-05-09T17:26:00.000-04:002007-05-09T17:26:00.000-04:00Oh my god, it's like we're spiralling down into so...Oh my god, it's like we're spiralling down into some awful pit of book suckiness -- except THERE IS NO BOTTOM. Egad.Nikhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08817525516356141103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-73160509573979128362007-05-09T15:40:00.000-04:002007-05-09T15:40:00.000-04:00"And how can they possibly be made any trashier?"B..."And how can they possibly be made any trashier?"<BR/><BR/>Be careful what you ask for!Kiwihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01827068130541898900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-54117096796732117602007-05-09T15:37:00.000-04:002007-05-09T15:37:00.000-04:00She was born to race. DEAL WITH IT. GOD DAMN YOU.I...She was born to race. DEAL WITH IT. GOD DAMN YOU.<BR/><BR/>In other news, "Melissa McClone"?<BR/><BR/>I suppose that's how Harlequin Romances are written, but still, do you have to give the game away in the surname like that?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-71315072022190588442007-05-09T14:14:00.000-04:002007-05-09T14:14:00.000-04:00I get a kick out of the fact that the first book w...I get a kick out of the fact that the first book was written by a <I>dude</I>. Those first two bring to mind a line from an old friend of mine, quoting one of his acquaintances who'd just shown off an automotive quick-fix: "I larned that trick wrenchin' for Humpy Wheeler on the NASCAR circuit."<BR/><BR/>What demographic will be targeted by the next schlock-filled line of romance novels? And how can they possibly be made any <I>trashier</I>?DocTurtlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15154912977859107986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-51790308501884383452007-05-09T14:07:00.000-04:002007-05-09T14:07:00.000-04:00Aw, that first one features a spunky girl racer! ...Aw, that first one features a spunky girl racer! And, um, a very not-romance-novel looking man. Maybe focus groups determined that ladies willing to read a romance novel about an obvious FEMINAZI are not reasponsive to Fabio's glistening pecs.<BR/><BR/>Also, my theory is that the baby is going to be a model for one of those horrible "ROMANCE" posters where toddlers are dressed in wedding clothes and and smooch on the cheek or something. Years later, when they're both adults, they meet again and THEIR LOVE MAGICALLY BECOMES REAL! Either that, or her wedding was arranged at birth to the son of the lord of the neighboring manner in order to create a good expanse of grazing land for the families' flockx.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com