tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post1287120700815573226..comments2023-12-28T04:41:50.326-05:00Comments on Judge a Book by its Cover: You've Been Warned!Miss Maggiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05075664250796458409noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-4695948225918506452008-05-21T14:45:00.000-04:002008-05-21T14:45:00.000-04:00My local big-box bookstore has its own James Patte...My local big-box bookstore has its own James Patterson section, with a chain-made title card on the shelf and everything. That's right, the fiction genres are now: General Fiction, Mystery, SciFi/Fantasy, Horror, and James Patterson.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13728193395293738381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-44243862808341054222008-01-16T20:44:00.000-05:002008-01-16T20:44:00.000-05:00Hey, Maggie! I'm glad to see that so many people ...Hey, Maggie! I'm glad to see that so many people enjoyed this. <BR/><BR/>Lovin' your blog. Hatin' the angel. I ran across it while weeding the other day, and prayed that it hadn't been checked out in a while so that I could withdraw it. No such luck. Poop.Stephanie Perkinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01327218987542530574noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-14621848501692536492008-01-14T23:00:00.000-05:002008-01-14T23:00:00.000-05:00now that you're one of the 10 blogs to read for 20...now that you're one of the 10 blogs to read for 2008 (lisnews), quit slacking and get your ass back to work. congrats.the.effing.librarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17091817894228602335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-43799551630843954202008-01-13T09:12:00.000-05:002008-01-13T09:12:00.000-05:00I'm partial to, "And I’m screaming, screaming, scr...I'm partial to, "And I’m screaming, screaming, screaming, screaming…"<BR/>That just about sums up what I'd be doing right now if wasn't speechless with shock at how bad that was. I knew Patterson was bad, but I didn't know he was that bad. I feel dumber just having read that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-67456898008013840092008-01-11T16:59:00.000-05:002008-01-11T16:59:00.000-05:00The angel doll looks like it came from a Tim Burto...The angel doll looks like it came from a Tim Burton movie. Which is really not so bad, especially compared to that iceman cover from a while back.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-73447563151441093112008-01-10T14:25:00.000-05:002008-01-10T14:25:00.000-05:00My favorite is:“She thinks you’re a devil.”All it ...My favorite is:<BR/>“She thinks you’re a devil.”<BR/>All it takes is the ponytail.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-11629257286453000582008-01-09T18:10:00.000-05:002008-01-09T18:10:00.000-05:00[first "angel" cover blurb]"As a child, young Tamm...[first "angel" cover blurb]<BR/>"As a child, young Tammy Faye couldn't decide whether to follow in the footsteps of Shirley Temple or Alice Cooper..."the.effing.librarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17091817894228602335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-10961303336701479082008-01-07T22:39:00.000-05:002008-01-07T22:39:00.000-05:00I want a government arts grant so I can do the gra...I want a government arts grant so I can do the graphic novel. In the meantime, I think this text would make a swell party game: You go around the room; every person reads one line. Every time it can be lewdly construed, everyone takes a drink.<BR/><BR/>The Titanic should have had such an icebreaker.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-907551197658785352008-01-07T17:12:00.000-05:002008-01-07T17:12:00.000-05:00Just found this blog via a link in a comment on Je...Just found this blog via a link in a comment on Jenny Crusie's blog. I'm reminded of a book called <B>A Stone, a Leaf, a Door,</B> in which passages from Thomas Wolfe's novels are arranged as verse.<BR/><BR/>This is <B>SO</B> just like that.<BR/><BR/>Not.talpiannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13978075304795724185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-2447225786890504542008-01-07T16:22:00.000-05:002008-01-07T16:22:00.000-05:00I just got done reading a book that might be even ...I just got done reading a book that might be even schlockier, "The Darkest Evening of the Year" by Dean R Koontz, which may be the most laughably, and badly overwritten novel I've ever read (my grandmother gave it to me for Christmas because I used to read him when I was in high school. Bless her. Really. She never read him, so how would she know better?).<BR/><BR/>Dudes and ladies, it is SO BAD. Every sentence is a paragraph. Sentence/paragraphs like these (the last of the second chapter):<BR/><BR/>Amy remembered a winter night with blood upon the snow and a turbulence of sea gulls thrashing into flight from the eaves of the high catwalk, white wings briefly dazzling as they soared skyward through the sweeping beam of the lighthouse, like an honor guard of angels escorting home a sinless soul. <BR/><BR/>God, it wants to be <I>so goood</I>. The whole thing just gets worse and worse as it keeps going, ridiculously overdrawn psychopathology mixing feverishly with PSAs on puppy farms and golden retriever-centric animal rescue.<BR/><BR/>Sorry this is so long. I just had to vent , and I figured this may be the place for it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-28191814305846974852008-01-07T11:33:00.000-05:002008-01-07T11:33:00.000-05:00I love this! This must be done with more books!Wh...I love this! This must be done with more books!<BR/><BR/>Why does it seem like every single sentence could start with, "Hmmm.."?<BR/><BR/>“Want to join the Maytag club?”<BR/>“I’m coming!”<BR/>Now that's just dirty.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-81697778177606037562008-01-06T16:09:00.000-05:002008-01-06T16:09:00.000-05:00It's impossible for me to choose just one out of t...It's impossible for me to choose just one out of this truly godawful list, but I'd lean toward one of the many camera references, which are undoubtedly (having not read the novel) painfully belabored metaphors for guns and shoot-em-up mayhem.Petehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13679678856824675642noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-19793172034498738062008-01-05T14:36:00.000-05:002008-01-05T14:36:00.000-05:00For a single one, I have to agree with malice. Per...For a single one, I have to agree with malice. Personally, I like them best coupled together:<BR/><BR/>“I’m not kidding around. You’ve been warned.”<BR/>I guess Kristin Burns doesn’t want to talk to me after all.<BR/><BR/>And I think that burning smell is back too.<BR/>And I know just where to go.<BR/>It’s the maître d’ again.<BR/><BR/>It kind of reads like some weird teenager's diary. Don'tcha think?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-853683029801261282008-01-05T13:23:00.000-05:002008-01-05T13:23:00.000-05:00I can draw, not in a graphic novel format, but in ...I can draw, not in a graphic novel format, but in a cartoon style and I must several of those lines inspired some nice visions of single panel cartoons. I've been a bit dry for the past few months. I think I now have material for 110 single panel cartoons. I'm printing this out and getting to work.<BR/><BR/>For proof of my skills check out http://www.aperfectworld.orgToonheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11472697550326080445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-88581734723671031022008-01-05T12:10:00.000-05:002008-01-05T12:10:00.000-05:00Wow, I remember reading "Kiss the Girls" at some p...Wow, I remember reading "Kiss the Girls" at some point after the movie came out. At the time, I thought the story idea itself was good, but the writing subpar (and in some parts, patronizing - I don't really need to be told that U2 is a rock band, thank you very much). As such, I never read any of his other books. It seems as though I should be grateful. The collection of last lines, though - hilarious!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-67705784156480813372008-01-05T10:45:00.000-05:002008-01-05T10:45:00.000-05:00My mother reads these trashy bestsellers and when ...My mother reads these trashy bestsellers and when she tries to describe the plots I just roll my eyes. Thanks for passing on this important Reader's Digest condensed format. I know I'm not missing anything. And how short are the chapters? Kurt Vonnegut writes longer (and better) mini-chapters.yellojkthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09592683505688819187noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-3948700715175241182008-01-05T09:31:00.000-05:002008-01-05T09:31:00.000-05:00peri1020: I think there are 110, but I may have do...peri1020: I <I>think</I> there are 110, but I may have double-counted one of those two-liners.<BR/><BR/>What freaks me out about these quotes is the many of them that are written in the present tense (<I>e.g.</I>, "Everything goes black," "Then he absolutely blows my mind"), as though to make the action seem more real and visceral. It really just makes it sound like a methed-up seventh grader wrote it.<BR/><BR/>"<I>It only reads 1</I>" might have to be my favorite, simply because I can hear it being read by Nigel Tufnel in his matter-of-fact "<I>This one goes to 11</I>" voice.DocTurtlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15154912977859107986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-65823910240121694182008-01-05T08:35:00.000-05:002008-01-05T08:35:00.000-05:00I liked "And he loves it even more when I join him...I liked "And he loves it even more when I join him there." The whole thing read like some disjointed dream sequence that just went on forever and ever. <BR/><BR/>BTW, I kept losing count...how many chapters <I>are</I> there in this masterpiece?JackiAnnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00604862854670208162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-84105886121462032852008-01-05T06:32:00.000-05:002008-01-05T06:32:00.000-05:00Mine comes down to a tie between the Yoda-like Zen...Mine comes down to a tie between the Yoda-like Zen-esque syntax of: “Detective, remember? Homicide.” and the awful juxtaposition of “Want to join the Maytag club?” with “<I>I’m coming!</I>” which makes the "Maytag club" sound like a sleezy laundromat version of the mile-high club.Bryan R. Terryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701156451408732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-62383733810485900972008-01-05T04:05:00.000-05:002008-01-05T04:05:00.000-05:00I agree with mAlice - what the hell kind of ending...I agree with mAlice - what the hell kind of ending line is that? Hell, what kind of LINE is that?!<BR/><BR/>I now imagine someone screaming in utter terror, at the top of their lungs, "It’s the maître d’ again!" AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<BR/><BR/>Hilarious. I would buy this graphic novel.andyshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14050163251495144567noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-30227740459131590822008-01-04T23:54:00.000-05:002008-01-04T23:54:00.000-05:00“She’s alive! This woman is alive! She just winked...<I> “She’s alive! This woman is alive! She just winked at me.” </I><BR/><BR/>All I can think right now is that that is the most terrible closing line I have ever read in a book.<BR/><BR/>Ew.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-68802572721548130242008-01-04T23:29:00.000-05:002008-01-04T23:29:00.000-05:00my favorite is "The pathetic truth is—anything is ...my favorite is "The pathetic truth is—anything is possible right now."<BR/><BR/>and that's towards the end of the bookAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2055640445288546798.post-78505075764060634452008-01-04T22:22:00.000-05:002008-01-04T22:22:00.000-05:00"Praise the pencil"Honestly ... that was bloody br..."Praise the pencil"<BR/><BR/>Honestly ... that was bloody brilliant. What more can I say? Oh! I know ... the "angel" covers: more like "angel bride of chuckie" covers. *shudder*ourladybethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08003089621986303208noreply@blogger.com