Happy Mammary Monday! Although if you're like me, you'll feel like we somehow went from Thursday to Monday, without a weekend. Whoever said Time is a constant is/was on crack. But it's definitely Monday again, and I thought I'd present a book that can be informative, amusing, and useful!
Some of us (I include myself) would never, ever be interested in making our breasts any larger than they are. In fact, if the book promised to help shrink them to a size where I could buy cute lacy bras instead of hammocks big enough for a honeymooning couple to string up between two palm trees on the beach, I would be first in line to buy. So, for those of you who would for some reason like to increase the weight you carry around your neck and across your back muscles, this may be the book for you! I'm a little puzzled, though, about what exactly we're seeing on the cover. I see the boobs, surrounded by a black swimsuit, but is that a chubby arm on the near side, and another on the far side? Or some other body part?
Then, for those of you who would like to improve other parts of your female anatomy, here's another potentially useful book. Not only can you color in the pictures, but you can learn new hairstyles for your vajayjay. My favorite comment on Amazon.com: "The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas isn't just a coloring book. It's inspiration. When first presented with this, I strummed through it thinking it was a joke. But I soon realized that this is a guidebook for redecorating your vagina, especially if it's been around awhile and you feel like you've run out of new ways to dress it up. I put aside the crayons, except to use to draw in accessories like scarves and snoods, in favor of spray glitter, various stick-on mustaches, mini-flower and seed arrangements. (I didn't like the seeds -- too elementary school, hence, creepy. You don't want a bean and seed turkey down there, believe me!) My current favorite is stick-on beadwork in an ornate Tiffany-esque peacock design. (Tip: surprise your ob/gyn with a beadwork speculum! He'll flip!) Also, if it's your bridal day, try a delicate self-adhesive Velcro surprise for your honeymoon. Your partner will never forget it!"
Apparently, this book is based on a short-lived and now defunct blog that demonstrates how men can use feminine hygiene products for everyday things. For example, a tampon can plug the hole in the bottom of your fishing boat or can be used to clean a gun. I think Rex's last post made me remember this book (gun cleaning and all that....).